The Ping Pack and the Loud Crowd
by Araitsume
Summary: Ever since the Loud family moved in next door 10 years ago, Lee's life has never had a dull moment thanks to them. Little are they aware of the hidden forces fighting for control of their fates as a certain Prank turns their lives upside down. (Lee/Luna/Harem). Cross-posted on AO3.
1. Introduction

**A Primer on What to Expect**

In the beginning, there was darkness. But it didn't last long as a spotlight pierced it, illuminating a large set of red stage curtains. This was the cue for two figures to come into view, each approaching from the sides of the spotlight circle. Once they were fully visible, the pair now standing next to each other was revealed to consist of young male specimens in formal attire and brown dress shoes, but that was where their similarities ended.

The first major difference involved their height, with one's head just barely reaching the other's chin; this is more of an indication of their age-gap than anything else. The younger's suit was light blue with an orange necktie & white dress-shirt, while the elder's was dark green with a red necktie & black dress-shirt. They also differed in ethnic appearances: the former's countenance appeared to be Caucasian, and the latter's features were Asiatic. But their most striking attributes were their hair. While relatively tame compared to hairstyles sported by a ton of anime characters, these two still had mops with strange colors, with the pre-teen boy's being white as snow and his teenage counterpart's being mostly red on top and black on the lower half in the back (making the back of his head resemble the face of a cardinal). With their descriptions finally conveyed, the two hosts nodded to each other and were now ready to begin.

"Hello, dear readers," announced the younger boy, "My name is Lincoln Loud."

"And my name is Lee Ping," said the now-named teenager. "We welcome you all to a story that has been ruminating this writer's mind for a while."

"Which is another way of saying that he thought it up on a whim and couldn't repress it like he usually does," snarked Lincoln. "Of course, he ultimately caved in as my show is still a hit with the kids (and a ton of immature adults) – "

"That somehow still can't unseat his channel's mainstay featuring a sentient sponge," jested Lee. "And my show is one that he holds close to his heart."

"Of course, that cult following couldn't save it from being butchered by the unforgiving climate of the early 2010s for plot-driven 22-minute shows and only barely getting by under a streaming paywall."

"Well, not all of us were lucky enough to be made in the U.S. and be gifted with wide accessibility," Lee grunted before his face began to falter. "I still can't believe they did that…"

"Hey, big man, it's alright now," Lincoln said in a comforting tone.

"They didn't just spew the episodes onto their site and gave no promotion for them, oh no! They cut out stuff and whole episodes that had material that looked like edutainment compared to the stuff you get away with nearly every episode!" Lee ranted.

"True, but we tend to rely on some degree of cartoon logic," Lee defended. "I think that your quasi-realism could make some dark situations too real."

Lee sighed, calming down from his ramble, "Point taken. I guess it's time to start the disclaimer. You ready, little man?"

"After you, _hyeong_ ," Lincoln offered with a wink, earning him a bit of a chuckle from his older friend.

Almost immediately, a shoddily made sign with "Disclaimer" roughly painted on it descended from the rafters on a pulley system into view.

After clearing his throat, Lee began his contractually obligated declaration. " _Detentionaire_ is a production of Nelvana and created by Daniel Bryan Franklin and Charles Johnson."

" _The Loud House_ is a production of Nickelodeon Animation Studio and created by Chris Savino," stated Lincoln, with a bitter of a shudder from the name he just said. Seeing this, Lee put his hand on his young cohort's shoulder, giving him a supportive smile. The disclaimer sign was swiftly pulled back into the abyss above them.

"Now, it's time for us clarify some of the prevailing elements in this crossover," Lee resumed. "First, this story is more of an alternate universe version of my show's plot, with some significant changes. There may be some references to other fiction franchises, but nothing too blatant."

"Second, my family members are basically the only characters from my show that will be explicitly featured in this tale," explained Lincoln. "It does make sense since the main premise is that my family is living in his home city. As such, don't expect the supporting cast or any ships exclusive to the show." Sounds of grumbling were heard from afar as some readers closed the tabs containing this story. "That's not to say that they're completely banned from making cameos! Aw, too late…"

"Third, this is the writer's first serious foray into fanfiction, so this is going to be a learning experience him," Lee continued. "As such, he's also juggling this with his academic and social lives (in addition to conducting a slow-going recap of my show), so updates will be a rarity."

"That's provided if he doesn't have a nervous breakdown, assume that this was all a mistake, and takes down everything," Lincoln surmised the writer's fears.

"Too close to home."

"Sorry. And finally, there will be 4th wall breaking sections sprinkled throughout the chapters, but not nearly as meta as this one. They'll either be like my scenes that were prominent in the first season or Lee's pre-show recaps."

"The latter might be tricky since those relied on a lot of visuals," Lee admitted. "Anyway, I hope you all will be entertained by this amateur's dribbles."

"Same here," Lincoln added.

"Enjoy!" they both exclaimed, hands spread out moments before the spotlight went out, returning the stage into darkness.

"So, what state is Ottington in exactly?" Lincoln's voice asked.

"Eh, I think it's going by Simpsons' geography," Lee's voice answered. "The creators sort of spitballed it when they were adjusting it for a non-Canadian audience."

"Yeah, but it's based on Toronto, so it should be a Great Lakes city by default."

"Fine, let's keep it in Michigan by the Lake Huron shore. It's not as if the writer could get any lazier…"


	2. Prologue: Meet the New Neighbors

A/N: Hello, everyone. Here's the "first" actual start of the story. It can only get better from here, as my head has been brewing nearly everything else past this point. Minor edits to appearance.

* * *

 **Prologue: Meet the New Neighbors**

 _Hi, I'm Lee Ping. I'm just your normal teenager with a hairstyle that only my parents believe to be natural. The summer is almost over, and I've got my Sophomore year to look forward to. But, that's not important right now. I'm working on a little something for my next-door neighbors, the Louds. And, believe me, they truly live up to that name. Heck, I remember when I first met them 10 years ago…_

* * *

– –08/2002– –

* * *

"But, Dad, I wanted to stay home and watch cartoons today!" moaned a young boy with peculiar red-black hair to his bespectacled father as they walked out of the door of their home.

"I'm sorry, Lee," replied his father, "but I'm needed back at work." He then smiled, "Besides, you might make friends out of our new neighbors." Seeing that his son's frown hasn't changed, Dr. Alfred Ping sighed, "It will be just for today if things don't work out, ok?"

Lee's face morphed to a sad smile and nodded. He couldn't help but think he was letting his dad down in some way, but he just can't help being shy. The fact that a bunch of kids recently moved into the neighborhood was surreal when he used to be the only one on the block. Before Lee even realized it, they were standing at the door of the large house. It was kind of weird how this building that had been dead silent for who knows how long was now filled with noise that he could only compare to his old pre-k class.

Dr. Ping had just rung the bell, and the pandemonium suddenly stopped only to be replaced by a shrill "DAD! THE DOOR!" composed by high-pitched voices before the chaos resumed. Lee looked up to his dad with shock in his eyes. "You didn't say that they were girls!" he cried.

"Like I said, son," Dr. Ping said to comfort his son, "it'll be for today if you're still uneasy when I come back."

Before Lee could say anything else, the door opened to reveal a man a few inches taller than his dad, wearing a pink apron and oven-mitts; this caused Lee's unwillingness to be there to be replaced with confusion at the sight. "Oh, hello, Dr. Ping," the man said with a happy, yet weary, demeanor before looking down, "And you must be Lee. That's some wicked red hair you've got, kiddo!"

Upon noticing his son's concern, Dr. Ping explained, "It means he thinks your hair looks good." He then turned to his attention back to the man. "Hello to you too, Lynn! I'm so glad that you were able to look after my boy at such short notice."

"Oh, it's no trouble. Besides, what's one more kid?" the now-named man responded before chuckling. "I kid; I kid. Little Lee here is good hands. The Mrs. and I have had a _lot_ of practice."

"From what both of you told us, I don't doubt it!" Dr. Ping laughed, before turning back to Lee. "Son, this man is our neighbor, Mr. Loud. He and his family traveled all the way from Royal Woods to come here." The abrupt ringing of his phone cut him off, prompting the good doctor to fish it out and widen his eyes upon the displayed message. "I've got to go now! Be good for Mr. & Mrs. Loud, Lee! And have fun!" he shouted while heading off to the car parked in front of his house next door.

Lee couldn't remember the last time he saw his dad move that quickly, but his train of thought was interrupted by Mr. Loud's clearing of his throat. "Well, come on in, Lee. My wife and kids can't wait to meet you." Lee nodded and walked through the door. What greeted him inside was the sight of near-bedlam in the living room.

From what he could tell, there were four girls that were caught up in two separate tiffs. Two with long blonde hair, only distinguished by their clothing (one in a blue shirt and brown shorts; the other in a green dress and white sunglasses) appeared to be playing tug-of-war with the TV remote; Lee could see the channel changing whenever the remote shifted to closer to each sister. The latter duo of brunettes seemed to be engaged in a weird stand-up scenario where one girl with pigtails in a yellow dress was playing the role of the comedian and the other with a small ponytail in a large red jersey was meant to be the audience but was more a heckler, much to the former's unseen dismay.

 _Oh, gosh_ , Lee thought, _this is even worse_. He looked back to the door just to see the car carrying his dad speeding off.

"Girls!" commanded Mr. Loud, "We have a guest!" And just like that, the girls' mayhem came to a halt as they turned their gaze to Lee's direction.

"Huh?!" they exclaimed.

"Girls, meet our neighbors' son, Lee," Mr. Loud introduced on the boy's behalf. "He'll be staying with us for the day, so make him feel welcome."

"Uh, hello," Lee timidly muttered, noting the stares he was getting from his new audience.

"Uh, Dad," the blonde in the blue shirt spoke up, "You never mentioned that his hair would look like that."

"Yeah," piped the green-clad girl, "I thought kids like us can't dye our hair." She suddenly gasped and asked, "Does this mean that I can get mine done, too?"

"Well, Lori, I thought it'd be best for you to see firsthand," answered Mr. Loud. "Also, no, you still not allowed to, Leni."

"Are we supposed to believe that's natural?" asked the pigtailed girl, "Because that means he could truly be red-faced."

"Well, my parents told me that it's been that way since I was baby," Lee nervously explained.

"Oooh," the girls cooed.

"OK, gang, I've got to finish lunch, so play safe!" And with that, Mr. Loud ran back to the kitchen, leaving Lee to be surrounded by the four sisters.

"So," Leni pondered, "What should we do now?"

"I can practice my stand-up for Lee," beamed the yellow-clad brunette.

"Boo!" shouted the jersey-wearing girl.

"Oh, shush it, Lynn."

"She has a point, Luan," Lori spoke up. "We all need to have fun, not just you." This earned her a huff from the would-be comedian.

"Let's play a game!" Lynn shouted.

"That a good idea," Lee responded, "Do you girls have any board games?"

"What? Are you that _board_ of us?" Luan taunted, "Then again, you look _stiff_ to me!"

"Ignore her," Lori said while massaging her forehead with her finger and thumb. "And yeah, I'll go get one."

As Lori left for the storage closet, Lee noticed that Leni was eyeing just above him, slowly realizing what she wanted. "You can touch it," he invited.

Leni let out a small squeal of delight and started running her fingers through her guest's peculiar hair, paying no attention to Lee's blushing face. "Wow, even the roots are red!"

"Now that Lee looks the part, could you two _ketchup_ with the rest of us?" Luan alerted them to Lori's return.

"I figured that we could play one of Dad's favorites: Conglomerate," Lori announced while holding the box in question. "For the sake of Lynn, we'll stick with the kid's rules."

"Hey! I'm not dumb!" shouted the three-year-old in question.

"Anyways, I'm taking the Bowler Hat!"

"Dibs on the Dragster!" Lynn butted in.

"I call the Chihuahua Dog!" Leni piped. "It's so adorbs!"

"I'll take the Diesel," Luan stated, "but do you think we should wait for Luna."

"Who?" Lee asked.

"Oh, she's our other sister," Lori answered, "And if she wants to spend her time with Lincoln (our baby brother), it's her loss."

 _There's more?_ Lee thought before he was alerted by Lori's _ahem_. "Oh, I guess I'll take the Tugboat."

"Great! Now, let's play!" Lori announced. "Also, I'm the banker, unless anyone else here can count past 20." She smiled at the lack of volunteers before setting up the game.

* * *

After the first three rounds, Lee caught on to the girls' purchase strategies and skillfully rolled doubles to every key property that wasn't already claimed, and just managed to avoid the prison penalty. This forced the girls to make trades that seemed innocuous enough, but this would lead to him acquiring all four airports and two hotel-laden colored neighborhoods. The game finally ended when Lynn had the misfortune of landing on Lee's most expensive property.

"Cheater!" Lynn growled, barely resisting the urge to flip the board.

"What? I was playing by the rules just like the rest of you," Lee playfully taunted.

"Wow, Lynn's face and jersey beat Lee's hair in the red department," Luan chuckled.

"Sorry, girls," Lori sighed in defeat, "I don't like it either, but he won fair and square."

As Lee's prideful smile was met with glares from the four sisters (technically three as Leni just looked confused), the tension was sharply cut by a shrill cry from upstairs. The crying persisted and seemed to draw closer as it was accompanied by the sound of footsteps. That's when Lee saw the two remaining Loud siblings in the form of a panicking brunette decked in purple sweats holding a sobbing baby. "Hey, guys," the girl grunted, "care to help a sister out?"

"What went wrong, Luna?" Lori asked as she took the baby, trying to calm him down.

"I don't know!" the now identified Luna answered as Lori handed the baby to Leni. "Lil' Linc just started crying for no reason."

"Maybe he's thirsty?" Leni suggested before shifting baby Lincoln to Lynn.

"He drained his bottle minutes ago," Luna replied.

"Sleepy?" Lynn sweated while passing the house crier to Luan.

"Nah, he had his nap an hour ago."

"Does he need changing?" Luan queried.

"His diaper is bone dry," Luna groaned. "I can't figure it out."

"Hey!" Lee shouted, drawing all eyes to him. "Maybe I could help?"

"I don't think so," Lori stated flatly, not sure if she could trust him with a toddler. Lincoln made that decision for her as he started wrestling out of Luan's hold while reaching out towards Lee.

"I'd say 'Be our guest', but you already are," Luan joked before passing the fussy baby to their visitor.

Once in the hands of the friendly stranger, little Lincoln slowly calmed as he gazed up at Lee's head. Lee was just as captivated in his new charge's appearance; the baby's hair was bright white rather than just the assumed platinum blond he saw from the lighting. "Well, would you look at that," Lee smiled. "We're two of a kind." Lincoln giggled in response.

"Wow, he must really like you," Luna commented, drawing Lee's eyes towards her. "He's not really comfortable with strangers."

"Um, thank you?" Lee responded with a slight blush before turning back to Lincoln. "Hey, little guy! I'm your new neighbor, Lee."

"Ree! Ree!" Lincoln babbled with glee.

"Aww," Leni cooed, "He thinks he's a police siren." This earned simultaneous groans from her four sisters. "What?"

"Wait, did I miss a game of Conglomerate?" Luna asked, having spotted the set-up board game in question.

"Yeah, and Lee here managed to legally rob us blind," Lori answered. "Heck, Lynn was the one that got bankrupt!"

"Because beating a three-year-old makes him _so cool_ ," Lynn sarcastically growled.

"Oh, you'd be bragging for days if you won, and you know it," Lori shot back.

"Hey, kids!" came the voice of Mr. Loud. "Soup's on!"

"Alright!" the Loud sisters cheered. Lincoln chimed in with a delighted gurgle.

"You're gonna love Pops's cooking, dude!" Luna praised while grabbing Lee and dragging him along to the kitchen. "He goes all out whenever we have guests!"

Luna's words were proven right to the semi-redhead as he was presented by a pair of dishes he'd never thought could be mixed with each other: sweet potato gnocchi with alfredo sauce and sweet & sour beef (a dish Lee remembered his mom made that she called _tangsuyuk_ ). Suffice to say, this combination tasted powerful as their contrasting, yet striking flavors vied for Lee's favor. And to top it all off, Mr. Loud whipped out a decadent dessert called an English trifle at the tail-end of lunch. What also enhanced the meal was the company Lee had, as the Loud sisters were talkative and engaged in minor food-fights. The only exceptions were Luna and Lincoln; the purple-garbed girl spent her time feeding her little brother his slightly pureed version of the meal in between her bites. What captivated Lee was the girl's melodic humming throughout lunch that was lightly hypnotic.

* * *

After lunch and everyone cleaned up, the children went about their business. Lori and Lynn were playing catch in the backyard, and Luan was trying out another round of jokes with Leni (often having to explain each one the latter didn't get). As for the rest, Luna cradled a sleeping Lincoln in her arms on the sofa while Lee was lying on the floor next to them, drawing something. "And, done!" Lee announced before presenting it to his young hostess.

It was a cute portrait of the two siblings that eerily made them look like mother and child. "Wow," Luna surmised, "This is pretty good. Do you want to be an artist?"

"Well," Lee mused, "I don't know yet. Mom says that I can become anything, as long as she likes it." He let out a small sigh. "So, what about you? Are you going to be a singer? I heard you humming during lunch."

"Kinda," Luna admitted. "I just don't know what kind of sound I should stick to."

"Well, whatever you choose, I bet you'd be great."

"You mean that I'm not already?" Luna playfully chided.

"I'll never know unless I can hear more than just humming."

"Well, I do have this song that I wanted to try for a while." And with that, she gave Lee a private session. And judging from Lincoln's sleeping face having formed a smile, Lee wasn't alone in enjoying the aria.

* * *

 _Not long after the performance, Mom arrived to take me home. She wanted to leave right away, but the smell of Mr. Loud's leftovers drew her into making light conversation with the chef of the house. It wasn't long until Dad and Mrs. Loud returned and what started as a playdate turned into a "small" dinner party. Sure, the Louds have their quirks (more on that later), but then again so do us Pings (even if we're more subtle about it). Nowadays, they've become like the uncle, aunt, and cousins I never had._ Huh… _I just hope they'll like my moving anniversary present. With such a diverse family (figuratively speaking), it's hard to narrow it down. Wish me luck!_

* * *

 **[REDACTED] Chat Log: 281407**

…

 **C.M.** : Status report on Project: Lambda/Pi.  
 **F.M.** : Subjects still haven't shown signs of significant advancement. Any visages of enhanced talents are directed towards singular pursuits instead of all-around skills.  
 **K.M.** : Perhaps we should keep our focus exclusively on the _Antiquis Triangulum_ and if it has any connection to the events that occurred in Oregon.  
 **C.M.** : No. Until [REDACTED] decides to share that knowledge with us, we must continue observations. Please tell me that we have something.  
 **K.M.** : Subjects # 01, 06, & 11 show some signs of variety potential equal to Designations: Cobalt Hydra & Cardinal Dragon. However, I believe that Subject 10 will be just as valuable if not more so as an asset with her achievements in such a short existence.  
 **F.M.** : Of course, this all depends on whether the Subjects can develop [REDACTED] to prove Dr. [REDACTED]'s claims of their ancestry.  
 **C.M.** : Very well. We will reconvene at [REDACTED] for further discussion.

 **Log Ended**


	3. Chapter 1: Block-Bash

**Chapter 1: Block-Bash**

Hancock Lane is home to two distinct families in southern Ottington: the Pings and the Louds. Just from the sight of their adjacent homes, onlookers can see their defining, yet conflicting characteristics. Small vs. large; quiet vs. boisterous; orderly vs. chaotic. In all respects, unaware bystanders would think that these households would have at least a one-sided rivalry between each other based on these conditions. Yet, these families have achieved a peaceful co-existence that even bordered on symbiotic at times. And one of the factors that brought this into effect was their shared hosting of the neighborhood's annual Labor Day potluck/block party to close out the summer break, an event that evolved from the first supper the two families shared. This neighborhood event was also open to anyone (with a pitch-in fee/dish offering naturally), usually friends and distant relatives. Of course, this all would have been for naught if the children were incapable of gelling with each other…

* * *

– –09/3/2012– –

* * *

It was noon when a white, hatchback sedan parked near a police barricade. "OK, _niños_ ," said a matronly voice from the driver's seat, "We're here." "Here" referred to the decently sized block party just beyond the barrier.

Being the first to come out of his family's car, a teenage boy of Afro-Cuban descent sauntered towards the festival's entrance, dressed in a jersey-over-a-T-shirt combo, a pocket-watch-turned-medallion, and headphones. "Yo, _chicos_ and _chiquitas_!" he boldly proclaimed, "The _fiesta_ can finally start now that the Cam-Man is here!"

"Camillio! Get back here and help me with the food!" shouted his mother's voice. This was enough to cause the boy to falter and walk back the car as a younger girl of similar complexion swapped places with him.

"Cam is such an _idiota_ ," giggled the girl as she made her way to the party. Out of the roving mass of kids that were present, she spotted the two she expected. " _¡Oye, gemelas de Loud!_ "

The _gemelas_ in question consisted of two Caucasian girls in a pink Moxie Wheels toy jeep who, despite being biological twins and donning matching sunglasses, appeared as different as night and day. The one in the driver seat wore a long pink dress, matching evening gloves, and a tiara that was hard to discern its authenticity. The other who was riding shotgun sported a red worker's cap turned backward, blue overalls, and random splatters of dirt and grime all over her. They stopped their ride and lowered their glasses simultaneously; their feigned "business" expressions gave way to feelings of joy to see their new guest. "Angelina! You made it!"

"It's nice to see you see guys, too" the now identified girl replied excitedly. "How have you been?"

"Well, you're looking that this year's Little Ms. Ottington!" gloated the girl in pink. "At least, you will by the end of next month. There's nothing wrong with a little hype, right?"

"You actually have to win first," snarked the overalls girl, earning her a venomous glare from her counterpart. "As for me, I've been tinkering with all the family cars to make them even better. Heck, this baby is practically street legal now." This was emphasized by her slapping the car's side.

"Wow, that's so cool, Lana!" Angelina gushed. "Not that your news is any less awesome, Lola" she quickly added when the glare was turned towards her.

"So, do you want a ride to the games on the other side?" Lola asked.

"You bet!" Angelina responded hopping into the jeep's "trunk", and the trio rode off.

Meanwhile, Cam and his mother were each carrying a pair of food cases to an arrangement of tables spread in front of two houses. The food station was manned by two other adults. " _¡Hola, Lynn! ¡Hola, Sue!_ " greeted Cam's mother.

"Oh, hello, Maria!" said the Korean-American woman by the name of Sue Ping. "We were worried that you weren't going to make it."

"It would have been a shame, too," added the Caucasian man a.k.a. Lynn Loud, Sr. "I've been looking forward to your world-famous empanadas!"

"Oh, stop; they're not that great," the now identified Maria Martinez playfully self-abased.

"Hey, Mr. L? Mrs. P?" Cam piped up after laying his burden on the table. "Do you know where my L-Boys are at?"

"Well, Lincoln is holding a video game tournament in my living room (which I hope stays clean)," Mrs. Ping answered. "As for Lee, he's been upstairs doing who knows what."

"Alright, thanks for the info, Mrs. P," Cam blurted before rushing into the Ping residence, leaving the adults to parley.

"So, I take it that your other halves are running late again?" Mrs. Martinez observed with sympathy as she got behind the table to help serve out food.

"Yes," Mrs. Ping sighed. "I know his work is important, but it's Labor Day! His bosses really need to consider their employees' families."

"No need to worry," Mr. Loud reassured. "Rita said she'll pick him up and be back in time for the concert."

"So, how about the rest of the Loud clan?" Mrs. Martinez decided to switch subjects.

"Well, Lucy has her spooky tent for fortune-telling and séances," Mr. Loud recalled with a bit of a shudder.

* * *

"My dark powers reveal that, in 25 years, you'll be wiped off the face of the earth by impossible circumstances," were the words of a pale skinned girl with pitch-black bangs concealing her eyes. It was no coincidence that her gloomy attire matched her visage and demeanor.

"Well, that's reassuring," muttered her client, a teen brunette with a strange scarlet streak running through her hair.

"It's not all bad," Lucy reassured. "Before then, it's foreseen that you will take part in an important adventure."

* * *

"Lynn, Jr. set up the wrestling ring and is wagering a few of her trophies to anyone that can pin her down for the count."

"Has anyone come close?" asked Mrs. Martinez.

* * *

"1! 2! 3!" announced a child in a referee uniform. "And that's another one down by Lunatic Lynn!"

The victor rose up, drawing attention to her red & white jersey, red shorts, and her red, black, & blue luchador mask. "Do you wanna try again?" she smugly asked her fallen opponent, already knowing the answer.

The challenger, a teenage boy with a strawberry blond pompadour with green coloration in the front, could only mutter a negative moan while he was lying on the ground.

Lynn chuckled before turning her attention to the small crowd. "Who's next?"

* * *

"Not a one," Mr. Loud said proudly. "Luan is putting on a one-woman routine…"

* * *

"… And how about those mosquitos?" said a yellow & white clad brunette, showing her braces as she spoke. "If you ask me, they're the only part of summer that really _sucked_! _Hahahahahahaha!_ Get it?"

Instead of roaring laughter, the small audience gave off a collective groan towards Luan. All save for a sole teenage girl of East Asian descent, whose eye that wasn't obscured by her magenta bang just stared; she seemed to mull over the aspiring comedian's performance.

* * *

"… with mixed results," the Loud patriarch stated nervously.

"I swear, some people need to work on their sense of humor," Mrs. Ping pouted, being one of the few people that found Luan's puns funny.

"Leni has gotten into face-painting recently, so she's doing that for the younger kids…"

* * *

"And now, you're a cute little dragon boy!" a blonde girl in a green dress with white-rimmed sunglasses raised above her eyes told her subject.

Her current client, a teenage boy whose black taper cut hair was peppered with teal flecks, looked in the mirror to see the results. Sure enough, his face was painted to resemble some sort of reptilian creature, but there was something missing. "Uh, you forgot to add the flame plumes."

"No, I didn't," Leni answered, then pointing at the cheeks in the boy's reflection. As it so happens, his cheeks each had a fiery colored fruit of the plant _Prunus Prunus_. "See?"

"Those are _plums_ ; I asked for _plumes_ ," the boy grumbled. "You know? Like smoke coming out of a chimney?"

"Dragons don't smoke, silly!" Leni laughed, missing the point. "By the way, the paint is still wet," she added when the boy cupped his face with his hands.

Unfortunately, he found out too late as he lifted his face, saw the messed-up paint in his hands, and turned to the mirror to see his distorted visage. "OH, COME ON!"

* * *

"…and Lisa is giving one of her lectures, but she really needs to learn her audience..."

* * *

"… And that is why we are less than 50 years away before humanity can unlock the secrets to traversing the time-space continuum to any previous era. Any questions?" finished a small brunette in a green sweater and maroon pants with large rimmed glasses atop a podium. Behind her was a massive blackboard covered in various formulas and equations.

Her audience, mostly composed of curious adult neighbors, was left confused but too proud to ask her anything. That is to save one member: a young African-American man with dreadlocks that seemed to have orange hair mixed in with the regular black. "Professor Loud, would it be at all possible to travel forwards through time?"

"An intriguing inquiry," Lisa acknowledged. "This process to perfect this alternative would prove difficult as that involves temporal-spatial displacement where the traveler's matter avoids rematerializing in a position occupied with different objects…" And thus, another lecture was made.

* * *

"If she's this smart now, I'm scared to what she'll become when she's my age," Mr. Loud gulped.

"I see," Mrs. Martinez plainly surmised. "Wait a minute, I know that you've got a few more left."

"Since we ended up getting more people than we thought this year, Lori, Lana, and Lola had stepped up to keep the younger kids in line."

* * *

A small group of assorted kids shuddered in fear in w under the glare of an imposing, teenage blonde. "I'm going to say this once, and I expect you to obey it to the letter," the young woman sternly commanded. "The bushes are not port-a-potties. If you need to go, head into the closest open-door home to use their bathroom. Got it?"

The frightened children nodded nervously, hoping to not set off their older peer.

"That's better," replied the young woman clad in a blue t-shirt and khaki shorts before addressing the twin blondes on each of her sides. "Lana, Lola, you can let them out now."

"You got it, Lori!" Lana responded, unlocking the kids' holding cell that was lovingly called the Time-Out Pen. Now free, the children rushed out, with some straying off to a few of the houses to answer the call of nature.

"And if anyone goes in the Loud House, they better leave it cleaner than when they found it! Or else!" Lola roared threateningly.

Lori sighed. "This day can't end soon enough."

"Poo-poo!" babbled a voice behind her. Lori turned around to see little Lily, the literal baby of the family, tugging at her leg.

"Please let that mean that you're just agreeing with me and not––" her words died in her mouth when the dreaded odor emanating from a giggling Lily confirmed her worst fears.

* * *

"Maybe it's a bit much to also put Lily in their care," Mrs. Ping surmised.

"Nah, they can handle it," Mr. Loud boasted.

"Of course," Mrs. Martinez spoke up, "we can't forget our three _artistas musicales_. Camillio has been teasing us about their selection the past week."

* * *

The sight Cam was treated inside the Ping home was a nearly packed living room filled pre-teens huddled together with their eyes glued to the screen. Among them were four that seemed to have death-grips on video game controllers.

'Dang, bro,' Cam wondered, 'What could make these kids so agro?' He soon answered his own question by looking at the TV. "Whoa, you guys are taking _Triple-A_ way too seriously."

 _Triple-A_ is the nickname for the crossover fighting game franchise _Awesome Assault Associates_ which pitted a roster of nearly 50 characters (most of whom are owned by the gaming company Wintendo) against each other in knock-out-of-frame combat. It was the go-to PVP game for pre-teens that are forbidden from the FPS games by their parents. "Game!" proclaimed the in-game announcer. "The winner is… Bond!"

While his three opponents hung their heads, a peculiar boy stood up and boasted "Oh, yeah! Undefeated!" The clear victor stood out from the crowd due to both his orange polo and white hair.

"Dang, _Poco Blanco_!" Cam exclaimed when he saw the results, "You didn't have to massacre them!"

"Oh, hey, Cam!" the boy welcomed the late-comer. "You should have come in at the start when I gave these guys a virtual butt-whooping."

"Thanks for the reminder, Lincoln," uttered one of the players sarcastically.

Cam smirked at the display. The sole Loud son was one of the few younger kids he considered a kindred spirit. "I'm guessing that was the last round?"

"Yup," Lincoln answered, "We're going to start a racing gauntlet soon; you're welcome to join us."

"Thanks for the offer, bro. But I need to check in with a certain duo. Speaking of which, where are they?"

"Luna's in the garage, brushing up some tunes. As for Lee, he's– "

"'Stuck in his room?'" finished Cam. "Yeah, Mrs. P already told me. Any idea on what he's up to?"

Lincoln shook his head. "He's only ever come out for food and bathroom trips. I tried catching him while waiting for my times to play, but he'd only say that it's confidential."

"Yo, Lincoln!" shouted a feminine voice, "Are you going to leave us hanging or are we going to play?!"

"I'll be right there!" Lincoln shouted before turning to Cam one last time. "Maybe you can ask him?"

"Gotcha, _hermano_ ," Cam replied before heading upstairs. It wasn't like Lee to be a shut-in on this day as far he remembered. This was either a serious matter or he's finally grown tired of the festivities like the rest of their class.

* * *

Inside his room of organized chaos, a teenaged boy of Korean descent with a peculiar head of red-black hair decked in green attire had isolated himself into poring every amount of time on his personal project. At least he was until he felt an unseen presence of people viewing him. To acknowledge this invisible audience, he started to speak:

"Hey, Lee Ping here. You're probably wondering what I'm doing cooped up inside in my room while the remnants of summer are passing me by. Well, I just put the finishing touches on that anniversary gift I told you about last time. It was tough going considering what I had to work with. You see, while my family has stayed the same size, the Loud House has nearly doubled in size with the addition of 5 girls. I'm sure you already spotted them if only for a short while."

"Yo, dude!" called out a voice from the other side of the door, "what are you doing in there?"

"Cam?!" Lee asked in surprise. "Just a second!" he shouted back before returning to his work. "Just need to add my signature… And, done." Satisfied with his work, Lee placed his finished artwork into one of two art folio cases before opening the door to reveal his somewhat shorter friend.

"So…" Cam began, "What is, bro? I hear you've been bailing on most of the _fiesta_."

The partial redhead sighed before pulling his friend inside his bedroom and shutting the door. "Promise me that you'll say nothing about this before I reveal it myself."

"Dude, this is me you're talking about," Cam remarked. "How about a vote of confidence?"

"Eh, good point," Lee gave in before opening one of the art folios and taking out the canvas board with a finished art piece.

This meticulously crafted work depicted a teenage girl shredding on her guitar, both sharing a violet color scheme; she had an open-mouthed smile that signified singing. The background resembled a stage with a light-laden sign that read "Luna Loud".

"Whoa, Holmes," Cam grinned, "I didn't realize you were taking this approach; my money was on you serenading her."

"What?! No!" Lee sputtered. "It's not like that! Besides I've made stuff like this for all the Louds." He then proceeded to open the art folio that contained 5 other complete canvases. "See?"

"Sure, Bro," Cam smugly replied. "Guess that means a certain someone else no longer has competition, huh?" This earned him a playful slug to the arm from his redhead compatriot. " _Ow!_ I was just kidding, Pong-Man!"

"So was I," Lee laughed, "Anyway, I guess we should probably meet up with Luna to prepare for the main event."

* * *

Inside the Ping family's garage, there was a certain girl that looked she leaped off Lee's painting, with the matching guitar, violet rocker outfit (tattered skull shirt, belted skirt, and boots), pixie haircut, and earrings that resembled paperclips. With her back to the black SUV that shared the room with her, she strummed some random chords in search of a new melody. This cadenza helped her to process some things that have been pressing as of late.

" _I just don't get it. I know Lori's friends weren't interested in the block party anymore, but I figured some of our class would be here_ ," she mused. " _I guess the event being mostly kid-focused might be the reason. It doesn't make it right though._ "

Her musical meditation soon came to a halt as the connecting door opened to reveal her two contemporary compatriots.

"Luna-Saloona!" Cam greeted, "Guess who I managed to release from solitary!"

"Thank you, Cam," Luna grinned, playing along, "And good afternoon to you, love."

Lee gave a sheepish smile. "Sorry for keeping you waiting; I was in the zone."

"No worries, dude; we're here now," Luna returned. "So, can we narrow down the hits we're going to play?"

"If I remember correctly, we each get to choose two before we play our one original," Lee pondered. "I'm gonna go with the Reefer Bros.'s 'Hearken to the Harmony' and BC/AD's 'Highway to Heaven'."

"You're really banking on the oldies, bro," Cam smirked. "I'm down with it. Let's rep some Cedar Valley with 'How I Could Just Merc a Kid' and Carlos Santviento's 'Maria Maria'." This got a look from his peers. "Relax, they'll be safe for the _niños_ ," he reassured them. "What have you come up with, Loud?"

"Ah, you know you me, Cam," the freckled girl shrugged in a faux British accent, "I gotta stick with my classic blokes! 'My Generation' by The What and 'Route 66' by Mick Swagger's the Stalking Rocks are my picks."

"Alright, enough talk," Lee commanded while grabbing his violin from the stand, "Let's warm-up!"

"Aw, yeah!" Cam shouted in excitement. "Grand Master Cam-Man featuring No Strings Attached is ready for their end-of-summer gig!"

"You mean 'No Strings Attached feat. G.M. Cam-Man', right?" Luna stated with a raised eyebrow.

"Same thing, bro," Cam defended.

Lee covered his mouth to restrain the urge to laugh.

* * *

Just as the sun nearly vanished from view and their food table now completely barren, the three "single" parents noticed two figures approaching that were all too familiar with them, for better or worse.

"Hi, dear," said the mature blonde to Mr. Loud, "Sorry we're late. The good doctor's project lasted longer than we thought."

"Ah, don't worry, Rita," Mr. Loud replied, "You both are doing important work."

"At least she doesn't have to go on long business trips," Mrs. Ping grumbled. "Isn't that right, Alfred?"

The now-named Asian-American scientist rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "I know; I know. I'm sorry, dear."

"At least you made it in time for our kids' performance," Mrs. Martinez said to clear the tension. "They should be ready now. _¡Vamonos!_ "

"Shouldn't we take care of the scraps?" Mrs. Loud asked while addressing the mostly empty food trays.

"Relax, honey," Mr. Loud convinced her. "We can deal with it after the concert."

And with that, the parental quintet made their way towards the Ping household's garage where all the partygoers have crowded together.

They all faced a makeshift stage where the three musical almost-sophomores had their amps, mic stands, instruments, et al set up.

"What up, Hancock Lane!" Cam hollered to the gathering. "Y'all ready to end the summer with a bang?!"

This was met with loud cheering, mostly by the younger members of the audience.

"Let's get this show rolling with a No Strings Attached original!" Cam shouted before pointing towards the duo. "Hit it!"

On cue, Lee proceeded to play the instrumental opening on his electric violin before Luna belted out the lyrics with intervals of guitar riffs [ **A/N:** This is the opening for _Detentionaire._ Just let it be theirs in this continuity.].

"I don't wanna… take the heat, no!" the musical Loud began, "Now I gotta... go it solo…"

Suffice to say, that was quite the opening act by the young virtuosi.

* * *

From a house across the street from the concert, a teenager with a hefty disposition listened discretely to the small concert.

"Eh, they're no Dudes of Darkness, but they're passable," he surmised. A part of him even started regretting not attending himself, but that would mean his rep that he built last year could be undone if spotted. Let's face it: he isn't hard to identify with his stature and peculiar hat.

There were certain members of the crowd that he found intriguing: the five teenagers with bizarre hairdos that he assumed must have been new to the neighborhood. Something was off about them, but he just couldn't put his finger on it. Maybe if he saw them again, he could get some answers.

* * *

"… Get your kicks on Route 66!" Luna crooned the last verse before the makeshift band played the last bridge of notes.

"And that's a wrap, _chiquitos_ and _chiquitas_! Goodnight, Ottington!" Cam announced before he and Lee bowed while Luna curtsied.

With the concert having sapped their energy, the audience began to disperse to their respective destinations, leaving the Pings, the Martinez ladies, and the Loud clan.

"That was amazing, kiddos!" Dr. Ping congratulated.

" _¡Excelente trabajo!_ " praised Mrs. Martinez.

"You're a real Rockstar in the making, Lunes!" Mr. Loud cheered.

"I'm so glad that I took the shortcut home," Mrs. Loud sighed in relief. "I couldn't bear missing this."

"You're sure to win the Battle of the Bands if you keep it up," Lori encouraged.

"Aw, stop," Luna blushed. "We weren't all that."

"Yeah," Angelina piped up, "you'd be better if you dropped Camillio."

"Oh, you're so gonna get it, you little _mocosa_!" Cam yelled before jumping off the makeshift stage to chase his little sister who made a bee-line to the family car.

"And that's my cue to leave," Mrs. Martinez announced before heading to the serving table to collect her trays. " _¡Buenas Noches a todos!_ "

"Good night!" the Louds and Pings returned.

"So, how about we all pack up the stands so the roads can be clear tomorrow?" Mrs. Ping "suggested" to the two families.

Naturally, this was met with collective groans from the kids.

* * *

Under the streetlights, the multicolored hair quintet was making their way through Ottington's urban sprawl.

"That was enlightening," said Scarlet-Stripe.

"What do you mean?" Teal-Flecks asked.

"Our parents liked to boast on how big No Strings Attached was in high school," she explained. "But why is it that nobody from their high school showed up?"

"It's just what old folks do," Green-Pompadour shrugged. "They like to exaggerate their accomplishments."

"The same reason you won't tell anyone that you got your butt kicked by someone half your size?" joked Magenta-Bang.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know that girl was freakishly strong at 13?" Green-Pompadour got on the defensive.

"You were really close to blowing our cover," stated Orange-Dreads. "What if someone recorded you?"

"It's not like you were any better," Magenta-Bang pointed out. "You just had to say something to the one person in the area who could have made us in a matter of seconds."

"She's got you there, dude," Teal-Flecks agreed. "Even at this time, her brainpower was on par with Steven Hawking."

"It's really hard to take you seriously with that mess on your face, bro," Orange-Dreads remarked. "But OK, I'll own up to that."

"Hang on guys," Scarlet-Stripe stopped them. "I think we're here." This drew the group's attention to their destination: a two-story building flanked by two parking lots.

"So, now what?" Teal-Flecks asked moments before the double doors opened, revealing a shadowy figure.

"What are you five waiting for?" the figure called out in a feminine voice. "Get in! We have work to do."

The five teenagers nodded and went inside, passing the building's marquee bearing the title _Alexander Nigma High_.

* * *

 **A/N:**

I've had it rough these several months and not enough time to dedicate myself to this.

Credit to Mon-Ra for giving me advice on writing this scenario. Yeah, the edits to the summary are going to cost me dearly, but there is a method to my madness. For one, only one Loud sister would be seriously interested in Lee and others; the rest would have their own pursuits (some more prevalent than others).

I'm a bit iffy on if I should quote any of the songs from the shows or not. If you'd like me to add them, I will, starting with editing this chapter. Here are the musical references in lieu of The Loud House and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure:

The Reefer Bros. – "Hearken to the Harmony" — The Doobie Brothers – "Listen to the Music"  
BC/AD – "Highway to Heaven" — AC/DC – "Highway to Hell"  
Cedar Valley – "How I Could Just Merc a Kid" — Cypress Hill – "How I Could Just Kill a Man"  
Carlos Santviento – "Maria Maria" — Carlos Santana – "Maria Maria"  
The What – "My Generation" — The Who – "My Generation"  
The Stalking Rocks – "Route 66" — The Rolling Stones – "Route 66"


	4. Chapter 2: Too Long For FFN

**Chapter 2: A Fated Encounter & The Bestowing**

Within the inner-city lies _Casa de Martinez_ , a modest home from outside appearances. But for the youth that lives there (and similarly aged visitors), its main draw is the basement that had been converted into a fusion of a home theater and elder son's bedroom. It was a strange arrangement, but Camillio wasn't much of a private person and welcomed any guest to the "Cam-Cave". And when you live with/next to nearly a dozen sisters, it makes for a good retreat.

* * *

– –09/07/2012– –

* * *

"Fix that turret, dude!" Cam shouted.

"I won't make it in time!" Lee responded desperately.

"They broke through!" Lincoln cried.

"Oh no, I'm dead," Lori uttered in boredom.

The three males of the quartet then sunk into the couch when the inevitable "Game Over" message came on the screen, groaning in defeat. Lori, the sole young lady, just rolled her glazed-over eyes.

"We were so close!" Lee lamented.

"Lori, why aren't you trying?" Lincoln complained to his eldest sister.

"Hey, you just said that you needed a fourth," Lori shot back. "You didn't ask for me to literally be involved."

"Would you have done that if I _did_ ask?" Lincoln proposed.

"It would literally depend on the game," she answered smugly.

"No way, Loud!" Cam objected, "this house is a non- _Triple-A_ area when you're here, _comprende?_ "

" _Oh-ho_ , I think someone is forgetting who's in charge of you all," Lori said, directing a glower to the short future-sophomore. "After all, I could let it slip that my dear little brother has been coming here to play rated M games behind my parents' backs." Lincoln gulped in fear.

Before Cam could make a regrettable retort, Lee stepped in to play mediator. "Hey, guys, could we act like civilized people while we're here please?" Seeing them slowly back off, he continued to say, "Come on, Lori; we'd never let Lincoln play this stuff if we didn't think he was up for it."

"Please, Lori?" Lincoln begged with his eyes resembling that of a puppy's, "I swear that this stuff doesn't give me nightmares." If his sister paid closer attention, she would have heard him mutter the word "anymore".

"Fine, I'll keep this between us," the eldest Loud sister begrudgingly relented.

"And Cam," Lee switched targets, "it couldn't hurt to have just one game with her, right?"

"Un-kay, bro," Cam yielded, "But she can't main as Princess Apricot."

"Fair enough," Lori complied. Just before she picked up the controller again, a buzzing was heard from her shorts' pocket. "Oh, I gotta take this. Be back in a sec, twerps." With that, she ascended the steps, leaving her current charges who immediately let out a sigh.

"How did you know just what to say?" Lincoln asked having rarely seen Lori so agreeable.

"It's all a matter of appealing to both sides' interests and getting them to give a little to get a little," surmised the red/black-haired teen.

"Yeah, man," Cam replied while swapping game discs. "You've been the negotiator ever since we were little."

"You know, I don't think I ever knew how you two met," the white-haired pre-teen pondered.

"You mean how 'you three' met?" Cam returned. "It just so happened that the Ping man and your musical _hermana_ rescued me back in Third Grade; back then, I barely knew a lick of _Inglés_ …"

* * *

– –10/2005– –

* * *

Mi familia _was "fresh off the boat", so it was a struggle to woo the ladies. Luckily, the language of love was universal, and I made my moves on my first field trip: Green Diamond Park. I was wooing some of the popular girls with my natural charms and a carefully selected bouquet of local flowers. Little did I know, that I was stepping over some boundaries._

" _Hola mi bellas damas_ ," a primary-school-aged Camillio Martinez started before shifting to English attempts, "I thought of you when I found these." He then presented the pleasant yet rushed offering of wildflowers to the girls in front of him.

The two girls in question (one light blonde dressed in a violet blouse and black skirt; the other dirty blonde with pink-tinted glasses, white sweater, and pink skirt) looked back at him with some confusion before giggling and resuming their little chat.

Young Cam became crestfallen, wondering what he did wrong. Unfortunately, his pondering time was cut short by the sudden presence of a bigger, angrier classmate in a backward-cap.

"Hey, Cam," growled the larger boy, whose football-emblazoned t-shirt heaved as he puffed chest. "What do you think you're doing with Crystal?"

" _H-hola_ , Steve," Cam stammered, "What did I do wrong?"

"Crystal is _my_ girl, newbie!" Steve bellowed. "If you don't understand that, maybe you'll understand _this_!" Just before he could lay the beat-down on the smaller child, two new figures swooped in between them.

Facing the would-be aggressor was a young duo of Lee Ping and Luna Loud; their appearances varied from their older visages ranged from minor (Lee's bangs barely covering his forehead) to major (Luna sporting a full head of hair and wearing a lavender blouse & skirt combo).

"That's not gonna happen, dude," Lee proclaimed.

"Yeah, leave the little guy alone!" Luna added while giving Cam some space away from the bully.

"This doesn't have anything to do with you!" Steve shouted, "He's gotta pay for messing with my girl."

"Hey, I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't flirt with her if he knew she was with you," Luna shot back before turning to Cam. "Right, dude?"

" _Sí_ – I mean, yes," Cam nodded nervously.

"Besides, do you really think she would appreciate knowing that you beat up someone in front of her?" Lee asked rhetorically.

"The name is Crystal," the confirmed girl in violet piped up, "And he has a point, Steve; you could have just told him off and be done with it."

"I – uh, I…" Steve trailed off as words failed him in embarrassment.

"Live and let love be your truth, big guy," Luna stated, "Show that you're worth it."

Steve seemed to ruminate on her words until his own finally came to him. "Fine. Just don't cross me again."

"Fair enough," Lee agreed, "We'll just be on our way." And with that, Lee, Luna, and Cam left the placated giant of a boy.

"Who'd have thought that the new kid would have some backup?" Steve wondered out loud.

"Well, at least we didn't have to get a teacher involved," Crystal remarked before turning the girl next to her. "Isn't that right, Brandy?"

The now-named girl snapped out of her dazed looking at the departing trio to respond with a "Yeah, sure."

"You alright, buddy?" Lee asked his and Luna's new companion once they were a safe distance away from another incident.

"Yes, _muchas gracias_ to you both," came Cam's partially stunned reply.

"Think nothing of it; that's what mates are for," Luna said to cheer him up.

"Mates?" Cam wondered aloud.

"She means 'friends'," Lee answered, "Or maybe 'amigos' if you prefer?"

That sentence sparked a realization in young Cam's heart. These two have been the first kids his age that ever treated him with kindness. "'Amigos', huh? _Me gusta eso..._ "

 _Little did we know that that day would lead to a beautiful friendship based on sticking up for each other & the little guy and shared love for the arts. Pretty _cursi _, huh?_

* * *

– –Present Day– –

* * *

"And you guys remained friends ever since?" Lincoln asked amazed.

"Well, you're here; aren't ya, holmes?" Cam joked.

The basement steps creaked as Lori returned to the room, her face exhibiting her annoyance. "Twerps, our parents have the dinner ready, so we're heading off now." She then grinned in Cam's direction, "Looks like I'll have to smoke you in _Triple-A_ some other time, Martinez."

"That's not a guarantee, _chica!_ " came the young host's reply.

"Thanks for the story, Cam," Lincoln said while ascending the stairs.

"Yeah, I'll see you on Monday," Lee started to join them before Cam grabbed him for a moment.

"Be sure to knock them dead with your 'project', _muchacho_ ," Cam whispered.

Lee gave a small chuckle followed by a "Thanks, buddy" before joining up with Lincoln and Lori.

* * *

The drive back to Hancock Lane was a bit uneventful for Lee aside from Lori shooting down his attempts at getting rides to school from her. "You have your mom, the buses, and the streetcar; I'm not a charity car service that you can use whenever you want," she said. This attitude most likely came to be when she got her own car but was unable to escape her younger siblings' demands of being their chauffeur.

At least now, he was in his room now and readily collected the pieces of his project. "Hey, guys," Lee addressed the unseen audience. "I know you're a bit anxious to see the rest of my 'masterpieces', but you're going to need to wait until after dinner. It's mainly due to the younger half of the Loud sisters' table manners (or lack thereof) being an imminent danger. Nothing against them, but there's a reason that they have a kids' table."

"Now, you're probably wondering, 'Lee, why are your family and the Louds still having this dinner if that block party was the tradition?' Well, it's not against the law to have more than one tradition. And it's a more civil time to catch us all up on what's happened with us over the summer, you know? Share stories, talk about plans for the new school year; that sort of stuff. It almost feels like someone orchestrated our bonding. I mean in the practical sense, not the meta sense as that's obvious."

"Lee!" shouted his mother's voice from behind the door. "We're leaving now! Gather your things and come out of your room!"

"Alright guys, wish me luck!" Lee addressed the audience while rushing out of his room with his art portfolio cases.

* * *

The Loud family dinners tend to match their name, whether they had guests or not. And the ones that hosted the Pings were no exception. The array of dishes (Lynn Loud, Sr.: shepherd's pie & cheesy cauliflower casserole; Sue Ping: pineapple fried rice & red velvet cake), while delectable, wasn't the main draw; it was the conversation.

"So, how are you liking the Grown-Up Table, Linc?" Lee spoke to his young protégé.

"It's a nice step up from having to dodge peas at any moment," Lincoln answered with a twinge of satisfaction.

"Don't act like that you didn't enjoy it!" shouted Lana from the kids' table while taking aim at her sisters' faces with some of her rice.

"Plus, I'm stoked that I'm going to be in middle school this year," the white-haired youth announced. "I bet Bonnie and I will actually become popular this time."

"Good luck with that, Stink-coln!" mocked Lynn.

"Pay her no mind," Lee assured him. "Just be yourself. And remember, popularity isn't everything."

"Speaking from experience, huh?" Lori teased with a smug grin.

"Oh yeah," Luan recalled, "Your birthday that year was the one that most of us couldn't attend, so you got desperate enough to ask three of the popular kids to attend so it wasn't just you and Cam."

"Girls," tutted Mr. Loud, "there's no need to get into that."

"Sorry, Dad," Lori mumbled, "And to you too, Lee."

"I a- _paw_ -logize, too," Luan stated while suddenly whipping out gloves shaped like dog paws and giving the puppy-dog eyes. This earned a bit of a chuckle from Mrs. Ping, and the rest of the table was collectively grateful that she didn't add her signature laugh and catchphrase this time.

"It's not like the party was a complete wash-out anyway," Luna spoke up. "Linc and I were there too."

"I don't remember much of it," Lincoln admitted, "but I'm pretty sure it was good."

"Oh yeah, remember when Cam was hypnotized into acting like a monkey?" Luna recalled to Lee. "That was hilarious!"

"Yeah but being on the lookout for the magic word whenever he's around and ready to snap him out of it sort of takes the fun out of it," Lee replied, some of Cam's close calls still fresh in his mind.

"It shouldn't be possible for someone to have a permanently altered state as exhibited by Mr. Martinez without the use of hypnotherapy," noted Lisa from the Kid's Table. "Not even the CIA has been able to produce such results."

"Anyway, what's new with my favorite neighbors?" Dr. Ping inquired, hiding some discomfort from Lisa's assessment. "I've been out of the loop for a while, and I'd love to know what I missed." Dr. Ping could've sworn that his wife's brow furrowed as he spoke.

"Well, Mr. Ping," Leni began, "I was totes going to be in this year's Total Drama season, but Mom and Dad said no."

"We just don't want to see you hurt, honey," Mrs. Loud reiterated. "That show is infamous for its unsafe challenges."

"You're being too nice, Rita," Mrs. Ping commented. "That show is a legal deathtrap; I'd rather my students fail than go on that show! Not that I want any of you to take me up on that."

"Of course, Mrs. Ping," Leni answered. "I'm just glad that I'm finally a sophomore."

"And, I'm glad that you've improved, as well," Mrs. Ping acknowledged before turning her attention the Kid's Table. "And congrats to your little tutor for actually teaching and not just giving you the answers."

Lisa said nothing but blushed at the praise.

"If only _someone else_ would show as much interest in academics and extracurriculars that's proportional to their grades," the teacher-parent not-so-subtly called out her son.

"Come on, Mom," Lee sighed. "I've got time to do that when I'm Lori's age."

"Don't use me as an excuse to cruise through high school, Lee," Lori shot back. "I'm involved with a lot of things; it's just that few of them ever take place at school."

"Hang on now, dudes," Luna chimed in. "Lee and I still have our duo act, so that's something, right?"

"True," the rest of the diners confirmed that that was indeed something.

"And just you wait," Luna began to boast, "When we play the Battle of the Bands, we'll be up to necks in gigs!"

"But, if you don't win, it will just be a _Loud Ping_ to be forgotten," Luan jested, though she seemed to regret it from the look that Lee gave her. "Just messing with you guys."

"Speaking of big developments," Mr. Loud announced. "The Loud House is going to have another mouth to feed!"

The Pings collectively dropped their forks in shock. This prompted Luan & Lynn the younger to get into a fit of laughter.

"You should really consider your phrasing, Lynn," Mrs. Loud chided her husband. "What he meant is that my father is going to be staying with us."

"Wow, did something happen to Big Al?" Dr. Ping asked.

"Nothing's wrong with him physically," Mrs. Loud admitted. "It's just that his retirement home has been put under investigation for abuse charges, and he didn't want to stay with Aunt Ruth."

"I'm so sorry, Rita," Dr. Ping sympathized. "I just hope you have the room."

"We'll be heading back to Royal Woods to pick him up next week, but we might need some help," Mr. Loud added. "Not with the move, the older ones have it covered."

"Darn straight," Lynn Jr. grinned before flexing and kissing her biceps.

"It's just that Lincoln and the little ones need to be babysat for that time," Mr. Loud continued. "I don't suppose you could do us a solid?"

"Wait a minute," Lincoln managed to have a say, "How come I wasn't asked to babysit?"

"It'd be just too much to ask of you, son," Mr. Loud answered. "We're going to be away for most of the weekend."

"We'd be happy to help," Mrs. Ping accepted.

The entirety of the Kids' Table gave a collective sigh, though Lucy literally said the word "sigh". Knowing the no-nonsense household of their new charges, this would prove to be a dull weekend.

"Hey, everyone," Lee drew all eyes to him. "After dinner, I've got something that I wanted to give you all."

"Can't we see it now?" Lola whined.

"It's best to be shown without the risk of food stains," the partial redhead declared.

* * *

As the two families gathered in the Louds' living room after cleaning up their food, Lee stood in front of the TV with his portfolio cases flanked on each side of him, just about ready dispense with the gifts. "Thank you for being here, everyone," he began.

"Where else would we be? We just had dinner," Luan goofed before being harshly shushed by everyone else.

"It's been ten years since you've all come to the neighborhood," Lee continued. "In fact, a lot of you were even born here. As time passed, I've felt that we've grown close enough to be like family ourselves, and it's in that spirit that I give these to you in no particular order (I swear)."

Lee dug into the case on his right and took out a large manila envelope that had the words "For Lola" written on it. "Maybe this will inspire your future pageant outfits?"

Out of the envelope was a portrait of Lola Loud in a pink, poofy princess dress, bordered by pink ribbons and chrysanthemum flowers, with a fairy tale castle in the background and her name in cursive letters above her.

"Eeeeeee!" Lola squealed in delight and ran towards Lee to get a better look at her portrait. "Is this really mine to keep?"

"Yep," Lee answered. "They're all for you guys put wherever you like."

"And before you ask," Dr. Ping whispered to the much younger genius next to him, "I've treated them with a coating that should protect the art from Loud House-levels of wear-&-tear."

"That is quite the astute precaution considering my familial unit's destructive nature," Lisa affirmed his decision. "Of course, who am I to talk?"

After handing off the gift to the pageant princess of the family, Lee continued by pulling out another envelope; this one had "For Mr. & Mrs. Loud" written on it.

"For the heads of my family that I see as Aunt and Uncle," Lee announced with some embarrassment, earning a playful chuckle from both sets of parents, before making the reveal.

This dual portrait consisted of the heads of the Loud household dressed up as a king and queen duo with regal robes matching their usual shirt colors (Mr. Loud: primarily sea green, secondarily light green; Mrs. Loud: cerise pink, white) and seated on thrones. On Mr. Loud's side, his crown was shaped like a chef's hat; the top of his scepter had a cooking knife, and his throne seemed to consist of various ingredients just waiting to be prepared into a dish. On Mrs. Loud's side, her tiara was shaped like the tip of a fountain pen; her scepter's top resembled a writer's quill, and her throne was constructed from books that seemed to be written by its occupant. The parent's full names (Lynn Loud Sr. and Rita Loud) were emblazoned on the top of their respective thrones.

"Wow, Lee," Mrs. Loud managed to make out in shocked happiness, "I'm at a loss for words."

"I haven't seen such a flattering version of myself before in my life," Mr. Loud sighed happily while receiving the art-piece from his honorary nephew.

"Yours was a little… dark for me, Lucy", Lee announced hesitantly after he pulled out an envelope that had this Loud child's name on it.

The art piece was considerably dark in both elements and composition, as Lucy was depicted as lying in a crimson silk-lined, black coffin. She was dressed in a gothic dress that harkened to Victorian-era fashion; her top incisors protruded from her mouth in a resemblance to vampire fangs (which was the vibe Lee intended), and her eyes seemed to have a red glow emanating through her jet-black bangs. The girl's name was written in a red script that had dripping effects reminiscent of blood.

Most of the Loud family seemed paralyzed in fear. They even jumped when Lucy, the sole outlier, seemingly got the picture and returned to her seat in a matter of moments.

"This painting fills my dark heart with immense joy," the goth girl monotoned with the slightest hint of a smile. "Thank you so much, Lee."

"You're welcome," Lee smiled back to mask his fear before pulling out another envelope with Lisa's name. "And now for the residential genius."

Lisa's portrait had the young prodigy surrounded by various scientific equipment and standing in front of a blackboard covered in math equations. The girl in question was dressed in a lab coat that covered a sweater that was like the real thing but with "E=MC^2" emblazoned diagonally like a sash; her glasses had some technological additions that seemed to obscure her eyes from view. The weird thing is that her name didn't appear to be present anywhere.

Lisa stepped up to receive her painting and closely examined it. "Impressive, adjacent domicile inhabitant," she praised in her own way. "The calculations are accurate, and you managed to hide my name in a creative cipher among them."

"Just figured you'd appreciate the extra details," Lee told her as she went back to her seat before pulling out the latest envelope. "Next up is Lynn."

"Oh, I can't wait to see this!" Lynn grinned in anticipation.

The new portrait has the young sports star standing atop a mountain composed of gold medals with a red and white flag as a background. Her attire consisted of similarly colored tracksuit; her pose consisted of pointing her right hand up with the index finger sticking out, and her pompous energy exuded from her prideful smile. Her name was bright and bold against the flag.

"I didn't realize you were psychic, Lee," Lynn praised while retrieving the art piece. "Either way, I'm using this as motivation. Thanks!"

 _What have I done?_ Lee thought to himself, concerned that he stroked the athlete's ego to levels previously unheard. He recollected himself and took out an envelope with Luan's name on it.

"Well," Luan spoke up, "Let's see it; I'm practically _Lee-Ping_ with anticipation. _Hahahahahahaha!_ Get it?"

The room was suddenly filled with combined groans by every other soul in the room, especially the Pings. Not even Mrs. Ping's sense of humor would tolerate it; Lee to this day wished Luan never knew his name.

Luan's portrait had the girl taking up the left of the frame in front of a brick-wall backdrop. She was dressed in a yellow pantsuit, held a microphone in her right hand and a cigar (engraved with the word "Chocolate") in the left, and was in a pose akin to a certain popular human-sized rabbit. On the right of the frame was a speech balloon that said "Luan't seen nuthin' yet; you'll laugh out Loud!" with the words stacked up vertically.

The picture clearly tickled the Loud comedienne's funny bone. "I should've known, unlike what I'm going to do this baby, that you wouldn't leave me hanging."

"Well, comedy is supposed to mess with expectations," Lee smugly explained.

"So, true," Luan agreed as she took her picture with him.

With that out of the way, Lee brought out the next envelope. "Lana, try to keep this clean please?"

"I make no promises," the tomboy twin stated bluntly, though her demeanor would change with the reveal.

This picture has Lana inside of a stylized Yin Yang symbol where one side was filled with various flora and fauna, and the other had mechanical elements that leaned on the inner workings of modern appliances and vehicles. The girl was dressed in coveralls that was covered in a different kind of grime based on where she fell in the symbol; she had her arms crossed with each hand holding a tool that corresponded in their respective environments (binoculars in the "nature" side; screwdriver in the "industry" side). In lieu of opposite dots within the symbol, both parts of her name occupied those spots ("Lana" written in metallic script within the nature side in the upper left part of the frame near her shoulder; "Loud" in grass-dirt script in the industry side in the lower right part near her leg).

"Well?" Lee asked smugly as the Loud girl came to receive her portrait.

"I'll do my best," Lana replied reluctantly as it finally dawned on her that she'd need to clean up her act a bit, unaware that the Ping boy already took precautions and just wanted to mess with her.

"For the sister that looks out for all of us," Lee announced, having taken out the envelope containing Lori's picture.

"Now this, I've got to see," Lori chirped up, putting away her phone.

The eldest Loud sister's portrait appeared simple enough with a golf course as the background. Lori was dressed in a yellow polo shirt, green skirt, and a sky-blue visor; she held a golf club in her left hand and a massive trophy in the right. The clouds above her spelled out her name, and she had a massive smile on her face. One odd inclusion was a shadowy figure whose face was obscured by the trophy; whoever they were was holding a sign that read "Marry Me!"

"As good as this is," Lori pondered while pointing at the silhouette, "who is that supposed to be?"

"Well, you kept telling us about that boyfriend of yours none of us got to see, so I figured he'd get some recognition too," Lee answered. "I could remake it with him in full if you're willing to share."

"Nice try, twerp," the girl playfully denied her neighbor access to her personal life while walking back to her seat with her gift.

"Almost had it," Lee cursed to himself then proceeded to the next envelope. "Leni, you're up."

"Up for what?" Leni asked, making her confusion known. Lee had to resist the urge to smack his head and just unveiled her portrait.

This picture brought back the fairy tale motif with a modern twist by having Leni dressed as a fairy, using her wand to transform roles of fabrics into impressive, fashionable clothing. The backdrop was a fashion design studio, and one outfit was being formed with floating tools for the craft. Rather than a regular dress, Leni's attire had a seafoam pantsuit with glass-like butterfly wings emerged from her back as she flew to tend to her work. Below her person was her name beautifully decorated in glitter to resemble fairy dust.

"This is really good, Lee," Leni complimented, "but I totes think I could make better clothes than these."

"Understood," Lee stated flatly as he handed the painting to the unexpected critic. After regaining his composure, he proceeded to take out the next envelope which was addressed to the baby of the family. "I'm sure you'll grow to appreciate this, Lily."

Lily perked up from her mother's lap, naturally curious about what the boy with the strange hair had in store for her.

This painting had a simple yet meta appeal as the baby girl was making a painting of her family. She was dressed in a lavender smock that enveloped her body below her head, holding a paintbrush and an artist palette with 13 different paint dollops, and had the biggest, bubbliest smile one would ever see. And by feet was Lily's name written in the style of paint splattering.

To show her praise, Lily loudly clapped and laughed. In response, Lee brought the portrait to her parents and rustled her hair, earning him another laugh from him.

"Lee?" Luan piped up, being suspicious. "Are you sure you didn't plan the order on the unveiling?"

"Hey," Lee defended. "I've shuffled these several times to be fair. If you want to blame anyone, blame the Writer."

"Who?"

"Never mind," Lee sighed and just took out the next envelope; a smile grew on his face as he turned towards the sole Loud son. "Lincoln, I think your really going to like this one."

Free from its covering, Lincoln's portrait closely resembled a superhero comic book cover. His costume resembled the appearance of the boy's favorite superhero, Ace Savvy, but its usual red was replaced with Lincoln's signature orange. The scenery was a city backdrop where the boy seemed to be flying above it. "Lincoln Loud is Ace Savvy" was written in the usual cover format with a perfect recreation of the Ace Savvy trademark.

"This is amazing, _hyeong_!" Lincoln commended as he approached. "Though, I am curious as to how I become Ace in this thing."

"Well, maybe Ace decided to pass on his power to someone he found worthy," Lee answered. "Someone that's got the heart of a hero. Someone like my little bro," He added while putting his free hand on Lincoln's shoulder.

"Thanks," Lincoln replicated his portrait's smile before heading back to his seat.

"Guess that leaves oh lonesome me," Luna playfully summed up.

"Again, it's a total coincidence on my part," Lee stated with a sly grin before unveiling his final piece.

This meticulously crafted work depicted the musical Loud girl performing an intense solo on her color-coordinated guitar. She was also singing her heart out with an open-mouthed smile. A concert stage was the setting with silhouettes of indistinct band members behind her and the raised fists of the audience below her. And the final touch was Luna's name in the form of lights atop the stage.

"Well?" Lee asked the stunned rocker girl. "What do you think?"

It was Lee's turn to be shocked when Luna answered his question with a kiss on the cheek. "How's that for a seal of approval?" she smirked.

Both sets of parents exchanged knowing looks while the rest of the Loud siblings gave reactions that varied from "Aw" to "Ew".

This caused Lee and Luna to separate from each other (with the painting now in the latter's hands), blushing heavily.

"Well, they're never gonna let us live this down, huh?" Lee sighed.

"Preaching to the choir, love," Luna agreed.

* * *

Inside his quarters, the boy with teal-flecked hair was sitting on his bed, bouncing a ball against the wall. Now that it has since been cleaned of the botched face-painting, the boy's frustration could be seen in his Eurasian features. _This is all too weird_ , he thought. _They're right here, but we can't just go up to them. There's so much that I want to ask them, but they don't have the answers yet. Especially the big question: just how did they all_ —

"Hey, Stink-breath," interrupted the girl with the scarlet skunk-stripe as she stepped into the room. "How are you holding up?"

"Just thinking about how crazy this all is," Teal-Flecks shared. "The stuff we were only told in stories are going to happen while we're here."

"Good luck trying to get an eyewitness of the stuff," Scarlet-Stripe lectured. "Agent Chrono-Flower was very lenient on allowing us to attend that party. And even then, we were still lectured for directly interacting with our aunts."

"Hey, at least I wasn't the one who got in touch with one of the two who could've exposed us, miss 'What's one fortune-telling session going to do?'," Teal-Flecks shot back.

"Fine, you've made your point," Scarlet-Stripe sighed. "I'm just as curious as you, but we've got to play it safe for now."

"We crossed the line of safety by just joining this mission; why can't we get a closer look?" Teal-Flecks whined.

"We have to let the events play out naturally or else we might end fading out of existence, like in that ancient movie," Scarlet-Stripe asserted. "Besides, how could we even explain our family situation when it hasn't even been legalized yet?"

"I figured that we could at least tell Dad," Teal-Flecks shrugged. "At least his reaction would be hilarious no matter how he takes it."

"Can't you take any of this seriously?!" Scarlet-Stripe yelled, visibly frustrated by her fraternal twin.

A knock on the door interrupted the sibling feud, followed by the entry of their swarthy compatriot in orange-black dreads. "Luke? Lian? Good, you're both here," he said, "Agent Chrono-Flower has an update for us."

"Don't think this is over," the newly dubbed Lian growled at Luke before exiting the room.

"You've been talking about messing with the timeline, haven't you?" Orange-Dreads asked Luke rhetorically.

Luke's answer was an awkward smile to which Orange-Dreads responded by shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"This is precisely why you were restricted from interacting with any relatives outside of Aunt Leni," he bluntly condescended.

* * *

 **A/N:** Well, this was tough to churn out. Feel free to leave a review and/or _constructive_ criticism; I'd really appreciate it.


	5. Breather A: The Lives of Linchpins

**Breather A: The Lives of Linchpins**

 _Greetings, observers beyond our plane of existence. I, Dr. Lisa Loud, would like to take some time to deviate from your irregularly scheduled narrative to introduce the first of several "breather" chapters to bring some sense of levity. In my humble opinion, this could just be a manifestation of the author's attempts at creativity. The purpose of these vignettes is to explore aspects and events surroundings characters at different points in the timeline. And our first foray hearkens back to the start of the summer portion of this year's seasonal cycle, when I invited both my literal and figurative male sibling units, known as Lincoln and Lee respectively, to talk about a then-recent breakthrough._

* * *

– –06/2012– –

* * *

Lee and Lincoln found themselves staring at the door with a biohazard sign on it, a signifier of the room's inhabitant that called for their presence.

"You open it," Lee told his younger compatriot.

"I'm not opening it," Lincoln combated. "You do it."

"It's your house."

"You're the guest."

"You know what, let's just play rock-paper-scissors for it," Lee declared while getting his right hand ready for "battle".

"You're on!" Lincoln returned in kind.

"By Newton's laws of motion, I'll just grant you entry if it means we can finally proceed," grumbled a lisped voice from inside the room. The door finally opened to reveal the voice's owner, the diminutive girl whose large glasses emphasized her frustration.

"Please don't let this be another one of your experiments," Lee pleaded.

"I don't think I could go through anything like the last one," Lincoln added with a shudder.

"Perish the thought," Lisa played off the assumption. "Why would you assume that's the only reason I've requested your presence?"

"That's literally the _only_ reason you've called anyone here," Lee pointed out with he and Lincoln sharing the same blank expression.

"I guess the only fault in that sentence is the misuse of the adverb 'literally' that you seem to share with my eldest sibling unit," the young scientist admitted. "I promise you that this doesn't require the pair of you to be my test subjects, at least not physically."

This seemed to put the boys at ease as they walked into the room that was mostly Lisa's laboratory. Taking their seats on a couple of fold-out chairs in front of her desk, they waited for their genius host to do something that would be beyond their comprehension.

Lisa's first act involved taking out a remote-control device which she then used to desk to transform into a massive computer that seemed to come straight out of a sci-fi show. The screen of the high-end device created a bizarre astronomical spatial map with certain spots glowing.

"While my classmates were occupied with learning their colors, numbers, and months, I've been on the thankless quest of unraveling the secrets of the universe. This research has led me to uncover the reality that is the multiverse." The screen's map was magnified to show various versions of Earth scrolling across it; most seemed to branch off from a select few.

"In order to make sense of this revelation, I superimposed the near googolplex of worlds that were most similar to ours and generated markers indicating certain individuals that have the biggest probabilities of enacting great changes." To visualize this, the many Earths were merged into one with various glowing dots across the globe with the largest concentration in North America.

"With my curiosity at its peak, I looked into a select few of these individuals and came to a few startling conclusions." The screen flipped to a variety of faces with their first initials & surnames written next to them before stopping at the very faces of the two young men in the room. "Firstly, both of you are among these universal linchpins, as well as our families to an extent."

"We're that important to the multiverse?" Lee murmured. "I definitely don't feel like I am."

"Yeah, Lisa," Lincoln piped up. "We're just kids. What's so special about us?"

"Those were some of my outstanding questions, which led me to investigate some of our 'neighbors' to see what made them worthy of significance," Lisa began to explain, changing the screen to show the faces of a boy and girl of Caucasian persuasion who looked very similar. "For example, the twin subjects known by their shared initials M. Pines are currently spending their summer vacation in a rural town within Oregon home of oddities that I'm struggling to unravel. It's highly probable that their presence will have a domino effect on all life present, both natural and supernatural if Lucy is to be believed."

"Wait a minute," Lincoln interrupted. "Lucy knows about this?"

"Indeed," Lisa confirmed. "Her insight was necessary to fill in some of the gaps that logic failed to satisfy."

"You should've seen her face when she came for my help." Lee and Lincoln jumped from their seats when they heard the voice of the gothic Loud girl.

"How long were you there?!" Lee asked in a panic.

"I've been here since you entered," Lucy answered. "I was curious about how my contributions would be presented."

"Of course, elder sibling unit," Lisa tried to get back on track. "It was through your insight that I was able to determine the fate of the next subject." The screen switched to the face of a Hispanic boy. "Subject M. Diaz may appear unremarkable, but he's forecasted to have an encounter that leads to great revelations about other dimensions and the civilizations that inhabit them."

"I just wish that the encounter was with just an extra-dimensional demon and not a magical princess in tow," Lucy complained monotonously.

"That said, such an encounter won't occur until another three to four years," Lisa surmised.

"Now you both are predicting the future now?" Lincoln asked surprised. "I thought that the Tarot card incident put you off of this."

"It turns out that science brought about the catalyst I needed to make more accurate predictions," Lucy surmised.

"OK, so what does this have to do with us?" Lee questioned, wanting to get to the point.

"Much like subjects M. Pines," Lisa continued, "the two of you are destined to overcome a grand challenge that would create a ripple effect on the world at large this year."

"Any chance that you could fill us in?"

"No spoilers, Mr. Ping."

"Dang it."

"So, it's ok for us to know about those other guys' futures but not our own?" Lincoln sulked.

"If I informed you of your future tasks," Lisa explained, "it would increase the chances of you not making them, thus rendering my advice for naught."

"We could, however, share some of the stuff we learned about our alternate selves if you'd like," Lucy offered.

"It could provide a good transition for us to get into my second items of discussion," Lisa added.

"Eh, why not?" Lee shrugged.

"As long as it's not some world where I have ten brothers instead of you girls," Lincoln asserted, a bizarre and unpleasant dream still fresh in his mind.

"Or one where we're girls," Lee abruptly added. "I just have a feeling that would ruin my summer."

"Well, that rules out universes where the 63rd Property is in effect," Lisa muttered before changing the screen to show two Earths that spawned a vast multitude of different Earths connected to them, along with a few that seemed to be connected to both worlds. "As the cosmic map indicates, the worlds that have us at the center stem from two separate prime worlds. And the main timelines of those worlds lack interactions between our respective families."

"Wait a minute," Lee interrupted, "You're saying that, by normal circumstances, we would never have met."

"More like our family never left Royal Woods to begin from the start," Lucy stated curtly.

"Gosh," Lincoln murmured, "I never considered that."

"Indeed, our families becoming friends is a serendipitous gift that we're quite (dare I say it) 'fortunate' to have," Lisa begrudgingly divulged, noting Lucy's subtle grin.

"How else is our Earth different from these 'prime worlds'?" Lee inquired; his curiosity peaked.

"Apparently our world is chronologically equal to Earth designation Ping-Prime, whereas Loud-Prime's timeline is set four years into our future."

"So that means, by universal standards, I'd be the oldest among all of us," Lee assumed smugly.

"Something tells me that Lori won't see that as a reason to let you out from under her thumb," Lincoln stated bluntly.

"Dang it."

"There is also a particular aspect that you share with your prime counterparts," Lisa redirected the conversation back to her. "That being your propensity to amorous pursuits."

"Huh?" both boys asked.

"She's talking about you being romance-prone," Lucy explained, causing the two young men to blush.

"Affirmative," Lisa confirmed. "The majority of the worlds spawned from the primes are the result of you two courting other people."

"So, there's a world where I'd end up with Tina?" Lee asked. "I mean in the timeline that where you guys weren't my neighbors that is."

"Nice save," Lucy droned.

"Just as likely that there is a world where you two have an atrocious breakup," Lisa pointed out with a hint of disdain. "Of course, among the relatively few where our paths intertwine, you could very well be a part of a Loud-Ping union."

"Whoa, whoa, hold up," Lincoln piped up. "I might like him like a brother, but I don't know if I can see him as an in-law. No offense, Lee."

"Some taken," Lee stated.

"Considering how close you two are, who said anything about you being in-laws?" Lucy playfully jabbed.

"Lucy!" the boys shouted in anger, earning a toothy grin from the usually gloomy girl.

" _Ahem_ ," Lisa uttered to bring attention back to her. "As for my older male sibling, you have quite the outlook in any world; there's even one where you and Bonnie finally get out of the 'just friends' stage."

"No matter how many times you girls push it," Lincoln growled, "it's not gonna happen."

Lee could tell that this discussion was getting to his little buddy. "Is this your way of pressuring us to make our moves?" he asked the two female experts in their fields.

"Well, you guys are already at that moment of your lives," Lucy explained. "You even more so, Lee."

"We just wanted to give you the reassurance that there's a very low chance of either of you spending the remainder of your lives alone," Lisa insisted. "As a matter of fact, nearly all of the other linchpins are bound to engage amorously."

"I'm guessing that the people you've shown us count as well?" Lincoln surmised.

"Precisely so, elder male sibling," Lisa confirmed, changing the button to show pictures of the Pines twins, Diaz boy, and the two young men in the room with smaller pictures surrounding each subject. The smaller pictures contained scenarios involving the designated subject and a different person altogether. "The twin subjects M. Pines have a decent number of probable suitors, some of whom aren't even human. M. Diaz holds the record for the most possible paramours, many of whom reside outside his dimensional plane."

"Does that include the demon and the princess Lucy mentioned earlier?" Lee pondered.

"Yeah," the girl in question responded, "even when the two were already in a relationship."

 _Dayum_ , Lee and Lincoln thought, stuck between impressed, jealous, or intimidated.

"Feel free to take a look at your romantic possibilities," Lisa handed Lee the remote with the arrow buttons highlighted. "Please only use the horizontal-scrolling buttons."

Lee shrugged and began browsing through the "options" presented, though he found a few that were a bit convoluted such as a matchup with a stout girl with a unibrow. _There's a possibility that I'd end up with_ Greta _? At least, Beth isn't in here._ There were a few that got him excited such as a certain Asian-American girl with a teal headband. What he wasn't prepared for was that Luna (and the rest of the older Loud sisters for that matter) was among the ladies.

"Buh?" Lee blurted out, not realizing his cheeks dusting red. Though it was hard to tell, Lisa and Lucy made small, knowing smiles towards each other.

"Well, you two are already in a music duo," Lincoln playfully brought up, "so you'd just be making a different kind of sweet music together."

" _Haha_ ," Lee sneered wryly before passing the remote to Lincoln.

"Use the upper vertical button to switch to your path, elder male sibling unit," Lisa told Lincoln, noting his confusion with the device. Just like with Lee, the screen perused through various scenes of Lincoln with a variety of girls, many consisting of a few Ottington residents and others that appeared to be doppelgangers of the former.

"How about that? Looks like my little brother is going to be quite the ladies' man," Lee teased, lightly jabbing the white-haired pre-teen's side with his elbow.

"Cut it out," Lincoln blushed in embarrassment, pushing away the partial redhead. While skimming through the "options" like a dating app, they soon came up with some questionable scenes of Lincoln with most of his sisters: sleeping in the same bed as Lynn; performing some dark ritual with Lucy; being strapped to a table and experimented on by Lisa; getting driving lessons from Lori except with her being in the driver's seat and Lincoln sitting in her lap; performing a romantic puppet show with Luan; dancing a formal waltz with Lola; mud-wrestling with Lana; singing a duet with Luna, and modeling Leni's original clothing designs. "I thought this was supposed to show my 'what-if' love stories; what's all this?" Lincoln wondered. While he liked the idea of him being close with his sisters, there was something off about these scenes that have him worried. He also missed seeing Lee's face turning pale.

"The ultimate fate of someone who lacks a social life and whose only friends are his sisters," Lucy droned so creepily that she freaked out everyone in the room; even the images on the screen appeared to be spooked by her.

"A bit of an exaggeration but accurate," Lisa confirmed. "If you can't procure similarly-aged suitresses, you'll be spending a lot of days with us."

"And how would that be a problem?" Lincoln asked since he doesn't really see spending time with his sisters to be all that bad.

"It would become one when we all grow older and develop new interests," Lisa warned.

"Well, this has certainly been enlightening," Lee spoke up, "but I think it's time to call it quits. Thanks for inviting us. Let's go, Link."

"Wait, I want to know more about what they meant," Lincoln pleaded while Lee practically dragged him out of the room.

"I'll tell you when you're older," the teenage boy told his protégé. "No need to worry, Lisa; we won't tell a soul about this ever."

With the boys now out of sight and sound, Lucy turned to Lisa with her pressing concern. "Why didn't you mention the 'catalysts'?"

"It would've been detrimental to bring up that reality to them," Lisa lamented. "It's not as simple as going to a new location for the summer or playing host for an extra-dimensional being. If my research is clear, Lee's catalyst is something that I can't interfere with, especially how it might involve our presence in this city."

"But what about Lincoln's?"

"I've seen far too many iterations that have convinced me that we can't allow our family to become so calloused to let it take place in our reality."

"So, you're hoping that we have no such luck of that happening?" Lucy nonchalantly quipped.

Lisa just glared daggers at her gothic older sister for pushing two of her proverbial buttons: the acknowledgment of superstitions and atrocious wordplay.

* * *

Credit goes to mon-ra for beta-reading and helping me out of my writer's block for this chapter.

Gravity Falls and Star Vs. The Forces of Evil are owned by The Walt Disney Company.


	6. Chapter 3: The First Day (Part 1)

A/N: Big thanks to my friend mon-ra for helping me refine this chapter.

* * *

 **Chapter 3: The First Day (Part 1)**

 _Ah, A. Nigma High. I guess you could consider it as your typical high school if you ignore the fact that our mascot is a_ Tatzelwurm _(Lisa and Lucy have been dying to see it for different reasons ever since I told them). When it comes to freshman years, the Loud and Ping houses have had some harrowing tales. Lori was mercilessly hazed due to her appearance (I'd provide pics but I value my life), but she was able to pull through thanks to some love from all of us and the mystery guy who ended up being her boyfriend (don't know if I should pity or salute the guy). Leni ended up repeating the grade, in which Mom and Lisa swore that they'd get her to pass. As for Luna & I, we along with Cam fared little better; the only bright side was that we made it through with new loyal (if a bit eccentric) friend. And for what awaits Luan, well… You'd find that we'd be spending a lot of time together (not to our liking or choice). And it all started with the first day for the rest of our lives…_

* * *

– –09/10/2012– –

* * *

The tires squealed as the black SUV came to a sudden stop in front of the school front. Almost immediately, the sole son of the Ping clan hopped out of the vehicle.

"Remember Lee," his mother instructed, "you best keep your GPA above 3.5 this year."

"Yes, Mom," Lee sighed before walking off while his mother drove to the nearest parking lot.

His spirits soon lifted as he spotted his _hermano de otra madre_ , Cam who was wearing a faux hair-lined, red-orange coat over his regular garb that made him look larger than he was.

"Yo, Lee, what is?" Cam welcomed.

"Hey, man," Lee returned with a fist bump. "Ready to start the year off right?"

"You know it, bro," Cam answered. "We've got driver's permits to earn, house parties to crash, and miles of _chiquitas_ to woo. Speaking of which, when are the Louds going to show up?"

As if on cue, a certain baby blue Honda Odyssey rolled up where Lee's ride once was, and three young ladies dressed in different hues emerged. "I'll catch up with you girls when I've finished parking," called out the voice of the now sole occupant of the vehicle before it drove off.

"Ask and you shall receive," Lee stated as he and Cam waved at the new arrivals.

"Hi, Lee! Hi, Cam!" Leni waved back in a ditzy manner.

"What's rockin', dudes?" Luna greeted while throwing up the horns.

"Hey, guys," Luan spoke, ready to hit them with a joke as they all walked inside. "What do you call a group of stoned fish?"

" _¿Qué?_ " Cam broke into his mother tongue in confusion.

"Here we go," Lee sighed having already figured out the punchline.

"A high school! _Hahahahahahaha!_ Get it?" Luan guffawed, earning a collective groan from her sisters and peers.

"I'd hold off on the jokes if I were you, dude," Luna suggested.

"Why?" Luan asked. Her musical sister and strange-haired neighbor pointed to the unfortunate freshmen that were currently being hazed by their upperclassmen in a variety of humiliating ways. "Oh, I see now," the comedienne realized.

"Yeah, drawing attention to yourself as a freshman doesn't pay off well," Lee stated. Almost immediately, the group was pushed aside by a student wearing a green sweater with a mathematic symbol on the front.

"Dude! Respect much?!" Cam called out at the guy that barrelled past them, only to get a sneer in response.

"Man, we just got snubbed by a mathlete of all people," Luna observed.

"This wouldn't happen if we got some street cred," Cam grumbled.

"Hey, people know us," Lee debated. To prove this, he addressed the clique of skaters as they walked. "How's it hanging, Zed?"

"Dunno, man," the zoned-out skater-dude responded. "I don't study hang-ology."

 _I didn't expect my joke to be_ that _accurate_ , Luan thought.

"That was when we were in grade school; the game's changed since high school," Cam countered. "Don't believe me? Then explain why none of our classmates showed up at the _fiesta_ last week if we were so tight."

"Point made," Luna sighed. "But after the Battle of the Bands, that's all gonna change. Provided that my partner's got my back." She gave Lee a friendly punch to emphasize her point.

"Right back atcha," Lee winked back.

Without warning, the group of five was suddenly enveloped by a massive hug from a considerably taller young man. He was dressed in a light blue sleeveless shirt, jean shorts, a blue headband, and white-rimmed sunglasses. "Guys! It's me, Holger!" he announced in his vaguely Scandinavian accent.

"Hi, Holgy!" Leni welcomed.

"How's it going, Norse dude?" Luna greeted.

"Nice to meet you," Luan gasped.

"What is and what was, dude?" Cam managed to breathe out, being in the cramped center.

This question prompted Holger to release them. "Holger is confused by this query," he wondered.

"We just want to know how your summer back in the old country was," Lee cleared the air.

"Oh, yes!" Holger realized. "Holger been really enjoyed it, _ja_ ; even kissed a girl. It was truly the summer fun-times!"

"Nice," came Lee and Cam's simultaneous response that didn't seem to be shared by the Loud sisters. Luna just rolled her eyes while giving a neutral expression; Leni's usually confused look had a twinge of sadness in it, and Luan was just baffled at Holger's mannerisms.

"So, Holg?" Luna asked the funny foreigner, "Do you happen to get that thing I wanted?"

"Oh, _ja_!" Holger remembered and took out a CD album. "The latest melodies from the old country. Holger is hoping that this will be pleasing to your ear-holes?"

"Righteous, dude!" Luna grinned gratefully upon receiving the gift.

The atmosphere suddenly changed as another group of students were making their way through the halls: a quartet of sunglasses-clad young women in fashionable casual wear. They drew the eyes of many students like flies to honey. Lee, Cam, and Holger were instantly captivated; the Loud sisters were hit with metaphorical waves of intimidation radiating from this new group.

"Who are they?" Luan asked.

"Those are the Glamazons," Leni answered, "They are, like, on the top of the school, which always confuses me since I've never seen them on the roof."

"That just means that they're super popular, _hermana_ ," Cam corrected. "We should consider ourselves lucky if they even talk to us."

As if to take on this challenge, Holger got into a disco strut and called out to the Glamazons: "Ladies! Care to join Holger in disco-party times?"

The blonde, tanned leader in a white ensemble rolled her eyes. "Who wants to deal with him?" A light brown-blonde girl in all pink broke off from the group to handle things.

"Holger, _sprechen sie duh_ ," she berated, getting into the young man's face, "there would be no way that any of us would date you even if you and your loser friends were the last carriers of Y-chromosomes. So, toodles-losio!" She then returned to her clique, leaving Holger emasculated.

"Well, would you look at the time," Cam spoke up to break the tension, "It's almost first period; see ya later, Holmes!" And with that, he bolted off to class.

"I should be heading out too, dudes," Luna announced following after him.

"Don't feel bad, Holgy," Leni soothed. "It's just the start of the year."

"Yeah, you made some progress," Lee added, "They remembered your name this time."

" _Ja_ ," Holger perked up. "They remembered me! Holger-meister!"

 _That's not what I meant, but OK_ , Leni thought with a hint of disappointment that was overshadowed by cheer with overseeing Holger's spirits being risen.

* * *

Her nerves were starting to get to her. Whose wouldn't if this was their first day being broadcasted to all the classes? What if she messed up the report? Her burgeoning career in journalism would be over before it started! These thoughts were going through the mind of one Tina Kwee. The aspiring news anchor was suffering stage fright at the worst possible time.

And then there's her co-worker, the insufferable Chaz Moneranian, who seemed ready to bask in the spotlight. His ego was so immense that it was practically suffocating, so that's another proverbial hurdle to jump.

 _OK_ , Tina thought, _I've got to calm down and take it easy. Deep breaths._ This was followed up with her attempt at meditation.

"We're on in five," came the voice of the young, toque-wearing cameraman.

 _I can do this_ , the young anchorwoman recited to herself, _I can do this._

The PA system chimed its unique jingle, cueing the two school news reporters to start the morning announcements.

"Welcome back, A. Nigma High students, to the first day of a new school year," Tina started off. _So far, so good._ "I'm…" _Oh no, I'm blanking._ "I'm…" _How am I forgetting my name?!_

Her little panic was the perfect opportunity for Chaz to seize the focus. "She's Tina Kwee, and I'm Chaz Moneranian. And we (mostly me) are your school news team."

 _Well, that wasn't the snap to reality I wanted_ , Tina self-surmised, _but it did help._

"We're in for an interesting start to the school," Chaz continued. "A lot of shake-ups are in the works."

"You've got that right, Chaz," Tina added with a bit of disbelief in what she just said. "One pressing matter is the mysterious disappearance of Principal Wurst who was with us last year. Where could he have gone and why now? We, the student body, have a right to know."

"So true and thanks, Tina," Chaz went on, making sure not to let her live it down. "Not to worry, A. Nigma; we're getting a brand, spanking new principal! They'll make their grand reveal at today's assembly right after lunch."

"And, we're clear," the cameraman announced.

Tina let out a huge sigh. _How am I going to get through this?_ This was her first broadcast, and she nearly blew it! _Then again, maybe most of the school won't notice?_

"Don't sweat the small stuff, Tina," Chaz spoke up, almost showing a supportive side to him. "After all, you're just glass in the presence of a shining diamond."

 _Of course_ , Tina figured, _anyone else's opinion would be better than his._

* * *

Lee could only look on at the school news report with euphoria; he can now look forward to seeing his favorite female specimen that didn't live next door every morning now. It makes stomaching her co-anchor's grandstanding worth it just to see that cute freckled face of hers. If only Lee could build up the courage to ask her out, much less try something crazy like in his hormone-fueled fantasies (some of which including a third party).

Unfortunately for the partial redhead, his train of thought was derailed by the abrupt outbursts of his blond next-desk neighbors.

"Oh, Lee!" Holger blurted from Lee's left, "It's the girl you want to have kissing-times with! Tina!"

 _Oh crap_ , Lee swore in his head when the classroom erupted with laughter. His physical response was to hide behind a textbook

"That wasn't very nice, Holgy," Leni scolded from Lee's right.

"Most sorrys," the Scandinavian student apologized, "Holger used outdoor voice by mistake."

"Besides, he's obviously into Luna." This blunt statement by the more ditzy daughter of Loud cued another roar of chuckles.

 _End me now_ , Lee begged to whichever controlling force was out there.

* * *

"Dang," Cam cursed, "Wurst is gone? Guess we gotta say ' _Adios_ ' to his random candy encounters."

"Who knows?" Luna thought aloud. "Maybe the new dude would be just as good."

"They could also be a big pain in the _culo_ ," Cam joked.

"Dang, I hope not," Luna muttered. This wasn't her main concern however; instead, her thoughts drifted towards one half of the school news team. There was something about Tina that she couldn't explain yet gravitated to her.

"Do you have somebody stuck in the old _cabeza_?" her desk-mate grinned.

"Stow it, Martinez!" Luna growled, unaware of her flushed cheeks.

* * *

"Well," a certain girl with partially magenta over black hair thought aloud, "I've seen worse first cases of stage fright." She had just finished replaying the news clip on her personal screen. What she didn't mention was how surreal it is to see Tina's first foray into news (even if it's just for school) and compare it to the segments she grew up watching.

"True, but it's nice to know that our folks had humble beginnings," replied the boy with a green/strawberry blond pompadour next to her. "At least we're not expected to be great straight out of high school."

"Try telling that Nate & the twins," Magenta-Bang sighed, reminiscing on her siblings who seemed to get their talents just when they got out of diapers. "It won't be long now until history happens, and we'll be the ones to record it."

"Oh, so that's why we messed around with the place for the boss-lady?" Green-Pompadour asked.

"Joel, we talked about this," Magenta-Bang groaned. "We have to call her Agent Chrono-Flower while we're here."

"It's just a joke," the now identified Joel jested. "Besides, wasn't that why you went to Aunt Luan's stand-up at the block party? To get a sense of humor?"

Magenta-Bang's communicator chimed before she could deliver a retort. With a press of a button, the device projected a holographic message for both teens to see:

 _Taylor, tell Joel that we've got an hour left before the big event. – Lian._

"So, should we head out to join them now?" the now christened Taylor queried rhetorically.

* * *

Luan was thankful for lunchtime. The first few classes were tough enough thanks to the material, but a few repeat freshmen saw her as a prime target for spitballs. Which is why she's currently having her ponytail picked clean by Leni while listening to Lori's advice.

"Don't worry, Luan," the eldest Loud sister encouraged. "It's just the first day; you can only go up from there. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day."

"Why, because the builders were always _Roman_ around?" Luan quipped which earned her a groan from her blonde siblings. "But seriously, I think I'll get through it like you guys did," she added with a confident smile.

"That's the spirit!" Lori cheered.

"Where?!" Leni jumped in fright.

"Not that kind of spirit, Leni," Lori and Luan corrected at once.

"What's keeping Luna?" Lori wondered.

"She's probably chatting up with her fellow Lunatics?" Luan joked, earning another set of glares. "Come on; I share a room with her. I reserve the right to bust her chops."

Akin to a signal, the Loud sister in question entered the cafeteria with her band of misfits and got in the chow-line, continuing their little chat.

"I'm just saying," Cam complained, "that we shouldn't get homework on the first day!"

"Mr. Einstein is no joke; that's for sure," Luna sighed.

"Holger thinks that a change of topics would be nice," Holger decided. "How about the new reporters of news?"

"Yeah," Cam followed along. "I don't care much about Chaz, but Tina seems to be a sight for sore eyes. Am I right?"

"Lay off, Cam," Lee brushed off.

"What's wrong, dude?" Luna playfully pouted. "Afraid I might get jealous?"

"There's no right answer to this conversation, is there?" Lee sighed while getting a refill of soda.

"Seriously, Bro," Cam whispered while the group started moving towards the rest of the Louds, "You've got to make a choice."

Before Lee could give a proper response, he suddenly ran into a clothed, fleshy wall of a teen boy, spilling his soda on the guy's Zen-cat shirt.

"Uh, sorry?" Lee let out under the immense fear he was feeling.

"Oh, you're going to be sorry," the massive guy threatened, grabbing the partial redhead by his shirt and surprisingly not spilling the rest of Lee's tray on him.

"Biffy T. Goldstein," came a strangely alluring voice, "Let go of that poor, defenseless student this instant."

"Sorry, Vice Principal Victoria," the now-named Biffy complied, releasing Lee from his clutches.

From Lee's new vantage point, he could now see his savior: a lovely redhead in a green blouse-&-skirt combo. Her appearance and her voice were the main factors into why she's been a subject of many a student's hormone-fueled fantasies.

"It's such a shame that we're starting the year on the wrong foot," Victoria disciplined. "So why don't you take the right foot for a little trip down to detention after school?"

Biffy said nothing but gave Lee a menacing grin that promised a future beating before walking off with the Vice Principal. Lee decided to just shrug it off and rejoin his friends and neighbors at their table.

"Way to get bailed out by the smoking VP, dude," Luna congratulated.

"I could've handled it myself," Lee thought aloud.

"Seriously?" Lori doubted. "He literally looked ready to turn you into a human pretzel."

"And seeing how big he is, he definitely would have eaten you, too!" Luan added.

"OK, that might've gone a bit too far," Cam pointed out to hopefully dial the conversation down a tad.

"Whatever," Lee shrugged. "At least I'm not the guy that got detention on the first day." It was then that Lee felt the call to nature. "Watch my stuff, guys; I gotta whiz."

"TMI, much?" Leni objected with a disgusted look.

"Come to think of it," Luan noted as she started to get up, "I need to go to the little girls' room, too."

"Both of you are having the bladder-issues?" Holger blurted. "It's like you two are being in sync."

The conversation would have to stop there as the school's P.A. system came to life, revealing the faces of the school news team.

"Attention, students!" Tina announced in a panic. "We've just received–"

"Breaking news!" Chaz interrupted, blocking Tina from view. "Our new principal has arrived. All students are to gather in the gym immediately!"

 _You've got to be kidding_ , Lee and Luan thought as they simultaneously groaned. _Wait, (s)he's not thinking the same thing as me, right?_

* * *

Lee and Luan were feeling that all too familiar sensation in their lower extremities rise to undesirable levels once they and their crew reached the last empty row of seats in the gym. They tried to put their minds at ease by letting the general chatter from their fellow students act like white noise; the keyword being "tried".

"This day has got to be a bad, cosmic joke," Luan moaned. "Either that or somebody up there is really _spacing_ out." She resisted the urge to laugh lest she added to her misery in a messy way.

"That's got to be one of your worst," Lee sighed. Wanting to take his mind off his predicament, he looked around and spotted one bright side in all of this.

Standing alongside the cameraman setting up, Tina was ruffling through her notes when she turned at matched eyes with a certain partial redhead. _At least there's one welcoming face in all this_ , she thought. When she waved, however, Lee ducked out of view for some reason. _Or maybe not_ , Tina pondered while moving her outstretched hand to run through her raven black hair.

 _Dang it; I just_ had _to avoid her! Curse this bladder_ , Lee groaned internally. His only hope now was that the group seated in front of him and his seemingly motley crew could shield him completely from view.

"Real smooth, bro," Cam playfully mocked, earning him a stuck-out tongue from Lee.

Without warning, the entire gymnasium shook with a sound of metal pounding echoing throughout with a shock akin to a small tremor. And it happened again, and again; it was somewhat rhythmic. The lights dimmed, leaving one sole spotlight that shone on a lone microphone stand in front of red curtains. The advancing metallic sound drew closer to the point where the source could finally be revealed. The curtains were slowly parted by a metallic claw and a pant leg that ended with a mechanical boot. The students stared in awe and the faculty on stage looked on with indifference as a cyborg-behemoth of a man dressed in a dark blue service uniform marched up to the voice-amplification stick.

"Listen up, you snot-nosed, baggy-pants-wearin', maggot-covered puddles of vomitized puke!" proclaimed the intimidating, one-eyed new arrival. "Strummin' through life like it's some kind of mini-mall, drinking your fancy la-dee-da chocolate mocha with a peaches-and-cream frappawazzit on the side of your watoozy. Well! Sip it up, Java Joes and Josies, 'cause Principal General Barrage is in command."

Nearly all the students were scared silent by their new principal. Leave it to a Loud daughter to be an outlier.

"Um, why is the new principal, like, a robot?" Leni questioned rather loudly. A red dot soon appeared on her forehead, frightening Lori and Luna who seated next to her as she remained oblivious.

"Are you making light of my life-preserving aesthetics, little miss ray of sunshine?!" Barrage roared. A notable change in his appearance was his eyepatch had retracted into his skull to reveal a glowing robotic eye, the source of the red dot.

"No, sir!" Lori answered for her ditzy sister. "She's just confused, is all."

The cyborg-principal growled lowly in response, taking notice of two seats marked by backpacks in the same row as the girls.

* * *

Inside one of the stalls in the rundown-looking boys' room, a shadowy figure was engrossed with a texting session:

 **Boss** : Mr. Ping has left the gymnasium, but another student is absent as well. **  
Me** : Roger-dodger. Another fall-guy might complicate things, but what can you do?

"Could you keep it down there? I can't focus," came the voice of Lee, the fulcrum to the whole operation, from among the urinals.

 _Just be calm_ , Shadowy Figure thought. _Just wait for the moment where he's completely preoccupied._ They didn't have to wait long as an all-to-familiar fluid sound and a long sigh of relief gave them the proper signal. _As the kids would say, let the good times roll._ The figure switched the messaging app on his phone to one that consisted of a red button image, which he immediately pressed. This prompted a series of beeps to emit from the device.

* * *

Those very same beeps could be heard throughout the gymnasium, confusing all the attendees.

"Where in tarnation is that infernal beeping coming from?!" Barrage demanded.

Instead of receiving an answer, the gymnasium began instilling sensory overload through several strobe lights shining from the ceiling and strange techno music was blasting from the speakers. For the few that paid attention, there was a garbled message in the weird melody.

The students were all confused, but a few seemed to get into the music – namely Luna and Holger, the latter of whom jumped out of his seat and started dancing. Things appeared to be at the peak of chaos.

What happened next pushed things even further as lights went out.

Several small bursts erupted throughout the room, but their distinct smell was the main effect. Many of the students with had weak, recently filled stomachs started projectile vomiting, striking less fortunate students. Potato flakes rained down from the rafters, adding to the already noxious substances.

An assault of fauna was thrown into the mix as dozens of frogs ran amok akin to a certain plague. To make matters worse, the school's monstrous mascot went on a rampage, either swiping at students with its strong crimson tail or dragging a hapless one across the floor.

To add fuel to the fire, dozens of paint cans were emptied from the ceiling, drenching much of all present. The faculty tried to reign in everyone, with Barrage attempting to control the situation, but alas that was not to be.

* * *

After having attended to her bodily needs, Luan emerged from her stall and headed towards one of the sinks.

"I hate having to ditch the first assembly of the year," she sighed. "But, when nature calls, _water_ you gonna do? _Hahahahahahaha!_ Get it?"

To her surprise, the faucet just gushed out a heavy stream of water, which was peculiar as it wasn't one of those automatic types. Not looking a gift horse in the mouth, the comical Loud put her hands under the faucet just for it to turn off suddenly before she could wash them.

"Dang it," she groaned. She thought she could hear someone running just from the outside, but she decided to pay it no mind.

* * *

The water was redirected to the fire-suppression system which exploded in the gym, just exacerbating the chaos below and melding the unsanitary substances together.

This proved to be the final straw with some students as they desperately tried to open the doors, but they were locked. The rest were hysterical and running around, knocking each other into the piles of filth.

"Who is responsible for this?!" Barrage cried out, half-buried in who-knows-what. He didn't have to wait long for an answer.

* * *

The multi-colored hair quintet observed the screen with slack-jawed shock. The incident recognized as _The Prank_ was much more intense than what the previous generation described. The atrocious contents in the muck & the outright savagery of both man and beast were played out in graphic detail. It was a while until one of them decided to speak.

"We were recording that, right?" Joel asked, leading to the rest of his brethren to stare at him as if he just asked the dumbest possible question in that situation.

"We should've left you back home," Nate (the one with the orange-black braids) stated bluntly.

* * *

"Oh, Luan, hey," Lee called out to the girl question as they walked towards the gym. "Did you notice anything strange earlier?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Like somebody running through the halls?" Lee clarified. "I heard some guy rushing straight of the stalls when the pipes started going on and off."

"I think I heard some footsteps past the girls' room; could that have been related?" Luan thought aloud as they reached the gym's entrance.

"Wait a minute," Lee noticed. "Is that techno music playing in there?"

"Maybe the new principal is a DJ?" Luan suggested as they both opened the doors… and beheld a sight beyond comprehension. Seemingly everyone in the gym was covered in caked slime and was glaring at the two newcomers. The two's reaction was by far the worst possible in this scenario: hysterical laughter.

"Oh my gosh!" Lee managed to get out through the giggling. "If you can only see yourselves right now!"

"I know that most students would be green on the first day," Luan squeaked out, "but I didn't expect that to be literal!"

These words stirred up feelings of disbelief & disappointment within their friends & family while the rest of the crowd found their contempt for the two justified.

"You two!" came the domineering voice of Barrage which immediately shut Lee and Luan up as they saw the partially mechanical man marched towards them. "You're not getting a day, or a week, or even a month. You two are sentenced to a full year of –"

"Hold on, Principal Barrage," VP Victoria interrupted, surprisingly untouched by the messy chaos. "May I remind you that section 34 clause 7 of the Charter of Student Rights states, and I quote, 'No student can be given more than a month of detention per offense no matter how severe the act' unquote."

"True," Barrage grumbled in agreement. Lee and Luan breathed a sigh of relief that they are not getting years' detention for something that they didn't do.

"How about that Lee? Looks like the rules rule!" Luan laughed.

"That's it!" Barrage exploded. "If you think that was funny, then try making a joke about this: one month for the general vandalism! One month for the stink bombs! One month for messing with the sound system! …" Barrage continued to add one month for each part of the prank. "And finally, ONE MONTH FOR BAD JOKES!" Barrage yelling in Luan's face. "And by my calculations, that's ONE FULL YEAR DETENTION!" He then turned to Victoria. "I assume that falls in line with your precious charter?"

"You assume correctly, Principal Barrage," Victoria sighed in defeat.

"But sir, we were each in the restroom the whole time," Lee explained. "I mean separately; we only came across each other on the way back here," he clarified to avoid riling up the new principal any further. "It couldn't have been us."

As if on cue, the infernal beeping was heard throughout the gym again. Only this time, the source was found to be a red backpack that promptly exhausted smoke and halted its beeping.

With the surprise piece of evidence in his non-cybernetic hand, Barrage inquired loudly, "Whose bag is this?!"

"It kinda looks like… mine…" Lee answered hesitantly, realizing that his alibi was slowly going down the toilet.

"Well, look what we've got here," the Principal/General declared pulling several items from the bag, "Blue-prints of the school, schematics of the sound system, and recipes for stink bombs among other things! And you have the gall to tell us that you didn't do it?"

"Actually, Sir," Luan protested. "Since all of the evidence was found in Lee's bag, shouldn't that mean (like the prank that I clearly didn't do) that I'm off the hook?"

 _That little snake_ , Lee thought, feeling scorn towards Luan and dropping her on the bottom rung of his "favorite Loud sisters" list.

"I've seen enough enemy deception in my tour of duty to know when someone is trying to throw someone under the tank to save their own skin, Missy!" Barrage bellowed. "As of today, the two of you will be reporting to the sub-basement every single day at 15:15!"

The gym suddenly resounded with a collective "Huh?".

"That's 3:15 in the P.M. for you smoothie-slurping peaceniks!" Barrage made clear, being met with minimal murmurs of acknowledgment.

"This literally can't be happening," Lori panicked.

"But it did happen, right?" Leni questioned confused.

"How did I miss her planning this?" Luna self-berated. "I'm her roommate for Swagger's sake!"

"I think you are a missing the bigger picture, _chicas_ ," Cam pointed out. "Lee and Luan are now _personae non gratae_ by everyone! And that will carry over to us 'cause we hang with them!"

" _Ja._ But being on the bright side, Mommy of Pings still loves her son," Holger said optimistically.

On that note, Mrs. Ping stormed over to her new boss and the guilty party, getting right up in the latter's faces. "Young lady, you can guarantee that your parents will deal with you," she scolded Luan before switching to Lee. "As for you, you can kiss any free time goodbye! You're grounded for a full year!"

The accused party could only gulp in response.

"Principal Barrage?" Victoria entreated. "Don't you think it would be best to cancel school for the rest of today? I believe everyone is due for a little freshening up."

"Request denied, Vice Principal Victoria," Barrage declined in a softer, more menacing tone. "We might smell like Sam Hell, but A. Nigma High is made of sterner stuff. We'll soldier on so – what are their names again?"

"Lee Ping and Luan Loud."

"Thank you. _Ahem._ – so Mr. Ping and Ms. Loud don't lose out on their first stay in detention," Barrage finished. "DISMISSED!"

 _So much for my sophomore plans_ , Lee sighed heavily.

 _This has got to be the worst first day ever_ , Luan thought sadly.

And this line ran through both their minds: _And it's all her/his fault!_


	7. Chapter 4: The First Day (Part 2)

**Chapter 4: The First Day (Part 2)**

The latter half of the school day passed relatively swiftly for Lee and Luan since the prank aftermath. No matter the class, they could feel the stares of their colleagues that matched their coated visages. But that hardly mattered to them as their thoughts lingered over their looming punishment and the respective other that they felt was responsible for everything.

 _I can't believe this_ , Luan fumed. _My first day of high school, and I've got year-long detention. Even worse, it's for a prank that I never did. I mean, all the evidence was in Lee's bag, right? I'm just in this mess because the principal can't take a joke._

 _How could I be so naïve?_ Lee seethed. _That girl must have known this whole thing was going to backfire and used me as the scapegoat. At least she got caught too, but I'm not taking this lying down._

 _No matter what,_ they simultaneously self-declared, _I've got to prove that I didn't do it fast!_

* * *

The three o'clock bell had rung, prompting the students to flood the halls on their journeys to either home, after-school clubs, or just to loiter. Within this hustle-and-bustle were two distinct groups that had eyes all over them whilst heading to the same destination.

Lee and Cam were slowly navigating through the crowd, most of whom were giving the former unsavory looks.

"Could you slow your roll, dude?" Cam asked, struggling to keep up. "Not all of us have legs that go for miles."

"Sorry, buddy," Lee confessed. "I just want to get out of sight before someone tries to kill me."

What the two didn't expect was Holger suddenly appearing in front of them. "How did Lee Ping and Luan Loud make gym go _ka-floofer-shoppe_?!" he accosted excitedly. "How? How?!"

"It wasn't me, Holger," Lee insisted. "If anything, it was probably Luan."

"Right…" Holger agreed slyly, implying that Lee was messing with him.

"But your bag was right there and full of all that stuff, _carbon_ ," Cam alleged. "It's like you've got a dark side."

To prove his point, Lee randomly pulled something out that clearly didn't belong to him. "Does this look like mine."

"Well, you've hung out with the Louds long enough to do it, but I didn't think you'd actually swipe a bra," Cam muttered. "Mad respect though, bro."

"What?" Lee gaped before realizing that he was indeed holding a bra and promptly threw it in the air while screaming aloud. The bra in question found itself in the hands of a curious Holger.

"As if the prank wasn't a sick enough joke for you, you've gone so low to stealing underwear too?" came a familiar, condescending voice.

Lee gulped and turned around to see the quartet of girls who would normally be a welcome sight. He could see the disappointment in most of their eyes, while the brace-faced comedienne scowled daggers at him.

"Well?" Lori demanded of him.

"You think I knew that was in there?!" the partial redhead exasperated. "Besides, why are you angry at me when Little Miss Prank-Star is right in front of you?"

"For someone that's not a butcher, you sure talk a load of bologna," Luan quipped. "I couldn't possibly have done it. If anything, I got caught up in your cruel joke!"

"Please! I've witnessed enough of your pranks to recognize your work," Lee barked back. "You must have swapped my bag just to make me your fall guy."

"This is getting pretty heated," Cam breathed while the two started slinging insults.

"But Holger doesn't feel a rise in temperature," Holger wondered.

"Do you have a fever, Cam?" Leni asked, just as confused.

"That's not what he meant, you two," Lori corrected.

"C'mon, dudes," Luna pleaded to the two accused. "Chill out!"

"You've had it in for me since the day we met!" Lee raged.

"Well, aren't we just _Lee-Ping_ to conclusions!" Luan aggressively joked.

"I'm so sick of that dang pun!" Lee growled.

"Enough!" Luna shouted, jumping in between the two. "Great Balls of Fire! I don't know if either of you pulled the prank, but you two fighting about it isn't going to help."

"I don't think it matters to them, _chica_ ," Cam pointed out, addressing the mass of gunge-covered students that suddenly gathered around them.

Four tough customers approached the alleged pranksters who sucked in their breath, expecting undeserved retribution.

"That was a killer song you made for that break, dudes," complimented the dude in a top hat and wife-beater shirt before he and his posse walked away.

"OK, I saw that going differently," Lori stated, shocked at how peaceful that encounter was.

"Yeah, I thought he was gonna do to you what Jimi Matrix did to guitars," Luna theorized.

The next group to approach was a quartet of gloomy-looking teens that eerily reminded the Louds of a sister.

"Hey, Ping and Freshman Loud," the dude whose hair covered his right eye called out. "My dad's totally going to sue you for ruining our ensemble." He and his clique left before Lee and Luan could respond.

"Now, that's more like it," Cam thought aloud. "All that was missing was 160 percent more punching."

"Loud/Ping against the man!" shouted Zed from across the hall before he and his fellow skaters rolled off.

"Who's 'the man' he was talking about?" Leni queried.

"Holger doesn't understand either."

"Hold that thought," Lori mused, her baffled expression slowly turning a smirk. "I think we've been handed a golden opportunity, ladies and degenerates."

"Oh, yeah," Cam caught on, "I get you're selling, _la capitán_. Wait, did you say degenerates?"

"OK, now you're scaring me, Lori," Luan shuddered. "I can't possibly find a silver lining in all this."

"That prank has made you and Lee the most popular kids in school," Lori explained with her smile turning sinister. "And since we're close with you, that popularity has also spread to us."

As evidence of this, several students passed by the septet either paying compliments or seemingly checking them out. Each member of the freshly prevalent crew had varying levels of accepting their new roles from all the attention.

"OK, I'll admit that popularity has its perks," Luan confessed, "but I'd rather have earned it for something that I actually did." She pointed at Lee to emphasize her point.

Before Lee could retort, a microphone abruptly appeared between him and his "partner-in-crime". The invasive audio device was found to be attached to a certain smartly dressed school news reporter who made her presence known.

"Lee! Luan! Tina Kwee with A. Nigma High News," she announced as the young cameraman arrived with an archaic camcorder, "Looking to secure an exclusive on today's scoop."

" _Uh… Buh… Wha..."_ Lee tried to form his words, but nothing came to him. Being next to a long-time crush was likely the cause.

"'Today's scoop'?" Luan asked. "I wasn't aware that this school had an ice cream parlor. Get it?" In response, another microphone manifested itself in front of her.

"Ooh, just missed that sound-bite," came its owner who was right behind Tina. "Chaz Moneranian. Here to report this story the right way."

"Butt out, Chaz!" Tina grumbled while pushing him away. "I've got this!"

"No, you don't," Chaz retaliated, shoving her aside and turning to the alleged pranksters. "Loud and Ping, spill it. Student minds want to know!"

The two school reporters' fight for the focus took a physical turn as they created a dust cloud around them from their microphone bludgeoning.

"So that's what it looks like from the outside," Luan mused, recalling the frequent scuffles with her siblings.

While everyone else was focused on the fight, Leni and Holger had their eyes on the camera. Not for the prospect of being part of the news, but their focus was on the camera itself.

"How come you use 1955 BCE Color Lo-Band camcorder with 250 lines EIA resolution?" Holger asked the beleaguered cameraman.

"Wow," Leni expressed, "That's totes older than Mom and Dad." She would never realize that she was the cause of her parents having unexpected sneezes at that exact moment.

"We lost our high-end one in the gym," the young news assistant revealed. "It's sucks 'cuz I caught the whole thing on it."

His words burned in Lee & Luan's ears, prompting them to get into the guy's face.

"The whole thing?" Lee interrogated. "The gym?"

"You're not pulling our legs, are you?" Luan questioned.

A simple nod was all they needed to leg it through the halls in hopes of getting hold of the lost camera, bewildering the other students they passed along the way.

The unlikely duo shortly arrived at the gym's entrance, the same spot where their school lives were tarnished. Instead of rudely shoving the door open like before, Lee opted to make it slightly ajar so he and Luan could survey the area. The large room was still in its disgusting state; what they didn't count on was the small platoon of white hazmat-suit wearing janitors steadily clearing the area with massive vacuum hoses.

 _Well, this complicates things_ , Lee and Luan thought all at once. And that wouldn't be the end of it.

"Lee-Ping! Loud girl!" came a sharp voice from behind them.

Lee groaned while Luan let out a small chuckle at the mispronunciation of his name. "It's _Lee Ping_ , Brandy," he corrected the person that called him out: the Glamazon who chewed out Holger like bubblegum earlier that morning.

"That thing you two did today? Insanely awesome," the now identified Glamazon commended. "It totally bumped your rep to the Ceiling Maximus. I just need to confirm that the two of you aren't a thing."

"What?!" Luan gasped. "Of course, we're not a couple! He's like a dorky older brother to me to match with my actual dorky younger brother."

"OK, that was uncalled for," Lee groaned.

"That settles it," Brandy decided. "Lee, you and I are totally going around now. FYI."

"What?" Lee asked cluelessly.

In response, Brandy grabbed his shirt and pressed his back against the wall. "Hello? We're dating now! Duh," she explained. "And I want you to treat me right, especially when the public eye is on us." And she left the two, but not without a warning for Luan: "And don't even try to reveal this until I'm good and ready, or I will end you."

"What just happened?" Lee queried perplexedly.

"I think that you've just got a girlfriend," Luan surmised aloud. _Luna's not gonna be happy_ , she thought for the sake of her closest sister.

Their pondering was abruptly cut off as two large, firm hands grabbed them by the shoulder (Luan got the organic one; Lee the metallic one). "Party's over!" barked their owner Principal General Barrage as he yanked the pair up and whisked them away to their sentencing.

* * *

The technicolor-follicle sibling quintet couldn't believe their eyes as the previous scene played out on their viewing screen.

"Did Aunt Brandy just declare Dad to be her boyfriend?" Lian voiced the same thought as her siblings.

"Ew, that is totes gross!" Taylor shrieked.

"I wonder why Dad never told us about this," Jamal wondered.

"Well, you'd have to look at it from his perspective," Nate inferred. "Would you tell your children that you were previously involved with your best friend's wife?"

"Tagging along on this trip has got to be the best thing ever!" Luke cheered.

"Huh," asked his siblings.

"Just think of what other juicy stuff we'll find out about our folks!" the teal-mixed hair teen explained. "Especially the stuff they never wanted to share."

Lian, Taylor, and Joel looked at each other; their faces slowly morphing from confused to realization to mischievous smirks.

"Yeah, I don't think so," Nate opposed. "We don't have much of a reason to stick around now that Agent Chrono-Flower's superiors have the recording of the Prank."

"Oh, right," Luke faltered, feeling a bit deflated.

"Come on, guys," Taylor perked up. "Maybe something will come up that'll keep us here long enough to learn more."

"Yeah," Joel affirmed. "Don't give up hope!"

"If that happens, then I'll give up on playing _Triple-A_ for a year," Nate wagered.

"You better not take that back, bro," Lian shot back. "I'll be sure to hold you to it."

* * *

Lee and Luan landed into the dark detention room with a loud thud after being thrown in by the military-driven cyborg. "Welcome to the first day of the rest of your lives, maggots!" Barrage announced before shutting the door.

The two convicts took a moment to soak in their new environment. With the only source of light being a small window by the ceiling, the detention room was rather run-down with only the desk/chair combos being in decent condition. Of course, they weren't alone in the room as there was a sleeping supervising teacher… and the furious-looking Biffy Goldstein who seemed ready to unleash a beatdown on them.

"Not the face!" Luan pleaded. "My orthodontist will kill me, and that's the _tooth_!"

That didn't matter as both she and Lee were hoisted up in the air by each of the big boy's immense hands. Thinking that this was the end, the duo shut their eyes.

"That…" Biffy said as his demeanor softened, "was the craziest thing I've ever seen." He immediately released his grip, freeing the falsely accused teens.

"But it wasn't me," Lee and Luan simultaneously without registering the other's denial.

"Of course, you didn't," Biffy agreed, surprising them both.

"Wait, you're talking about me and not her/him, right?" came the combined response.

" _Sheesh._ Talk in stereo much?" the hefty teen snarked. "I'm talking about both of you; neither of you could've done it."

"How did you figure that out?" Luan asked.

"A number of reasons, really," Biffy deduced. "Just from looking at you two, only one has the devious mind, skills, or physical know-how to plot such epic, archaic, righteous chaos; she also happens to be the type who'd openly accept recognition of her work. And from what I've seen, you denied all involvement."

"Well, not to toot my own horn," Luan boasted before sounding a novelty horn, "but you should see my work on April Fool's Day. Don't really see how Lee's in the clear."

"The prank isn't the guy's style, plus the evidence in the bag just screams that the true mastermind wanted all attention on the fall-guy."

"Obviously, I wouldn't be stupid enough to leave that stuff out in the open if I thought I'd get in trouble for it," Lee commented.

"Plus, you're just not that hardcore," Biffy concluded, leading to Luan letting out a brief laugh and Lee scowling in response. "Now, if you'd excuse me; I've got some business to attend to," Biffy stated as he sat down and started knitting.

"What are we gonna do now?" Luan asked. "We need that camera!"

"Maybe one of your sisters could grab it?" Lee suggested.

"No, they're probably halfway home by now," the prankster Loud corrected. "Apparently, I'm going home with you."

"Well, at least we aren't at each other's throats anymore, otherwise the trip would've been awkward," Lee sighed. "Wait, maybe…" The Korean-descent teen whipped out his cell phone to call his last resort.

* * *

Cam and Holger were playing a round of _Triple-A_ at the former's abode. It was a tight battle, but the House came out on top.

"Oh no!" Holger cajoled despite his loss. "You _cafluffled_ my _shiffle-shaffen_!"

"Dude, I have no idea what you just said," Cam admitted. "But if that means I whooped your butt, then I'll take it."

All the while, neither of them was aware that Cam's phone was vibrating.

"Wanna play again?" Cam asked.

"Oh, most yes-finitely!"

* * *

"Dang it, Camillio!" Lee cursed as the call went to voicemail.

"Well, that's a bust," Luan moaned.

"Don't sweat it," Biffy reassured the two. "You could just wait until detention ends and get the tape afterward. Once everyone sees it, you're off the hook."

"Fat chance," Luan fretted. "By the time we get out, it'll be long gone."

"There's like some psycho cleaner freaks in there that'll make it look like the Prank never happened," Lee added.

"Well, escape is always an option." This proposal from Biffy caused his detention-mates to make double-takes.

"I thought the idea was not to get into even more trouble!" Luan cried out.

"How would we even get out without him noticing anyway?" Lee asked, pointing at the slumbering teacher.

"Allow me to demonstrate why you have nothing to worry about on that front," Biffy cryptically reassured while grabbing one of the empty desk chairs and walked towards the front desk.

With little warning, the hefty delinquent slammed the seating set on the desk, shattering the former, and filled the room with a sharp noise. The fright that initially sprouted in Lee and Luan soon diminished as the teacher remained asleep despite all reason.

"See?" Biffy addressed the obvious. "You could just walk right out that door."

"But what if Drill Sergeant Nuts-&-Bolts catches us?" This question was clearly from Luan.

"Well, if we knew where he was," Biffy proposed, "the two of you could avoid him and return here before he found out."

" _Pfft!_ Easier said than done," Lee doubted. "How can we possibly do that."

"The same way technology can be both our best friend and his worst enemy," Biffy asserted. He then proceeded to rummage through the drawer of the teacher's desk and pulled out a confiscated phone. "Good, this thing still has some juice. One of you could plant this baby on him, and I can track him through its GPS. Think fast." No sooner did he finish that sentence was when he tossed the phone towards them; Luan ended up catching it. "OK, now hold out your phones."

Lee and Luan held out the three smartphones for Biffy to sync them up with his own.

"Not that I'm ungrateful for this, Biffy," Lee wondered, "But why are you helping us?"

"Could be my sense of justice," Biffy divulged with an ominous grin, "Or maybe this seems more entertaining than beating the two of you to a pulp. Unless you'd prefer that."

"We're good on the helping!" Luan sputtered.

"Ditto!" Lee blurted out.

As the phones gave out a simultaneous beep indicating their synchronization, Biffy laid out the game plan. "We've got forty-three minutes. Brace-Face will take the tracking phone to Barrage's office for him to collect it; Cardinal-Head will head to the gym and get the camera. Do all this and head back before time's up and/or Barrage returns."

Lee and Luan were just about to step out when Biffy had more to say. "Oh, man! This like a real-life spy movie. Wait a minute… doesn't that make me…?"

"The computer nerd?" Lee finished with a smug grin. "It sure looks that way."

"You walked right into that one," Luan giggled as she and Lee left, not hearing Biffy's grunt of disapproval.

* * *

The two-pronged plan was now in effect as the detention duo split up once they reached the first floor. Luan made a beeline for the new principal's office (the "new" was referring to the principal, not the office).

 _Of course, this place is deserted_ , she thought while blitzing through the halls. _Who'd want to stay here on the first day?_

It didn't take long for Luan to reach her destination; she could hear Barrage ranting about something inside. Not wanting to waste time, she placed the confiscated phone right by the door (she was grateful that it didn't have a window built-in).

"The phone's in position," Luan contacted the man-in-the-chair through her earpiece while hiding from view behind a nearby copy machine. "Work your magic."

The lost phone started ringing, alerting the office occupant. Barrage opened the door to find the offending source. "Boo-yah! Confiscated!" the Principal-General announced to himself, pocketing the phone and walking away to make his rounds.

"You know, this could've gone south if he bothered to just put it in his desk," Luan pointed out.

"Well, life is full of small miracles," Biffy concurred. "Now head back here; let's have Lee do his thing."

Making sure that Barrage had a wide enough berth from her, Luan swiftly made her way back to the detention room.

 _That was rather easy; maybe this will go on without a hitch. Provided that Lee gets the camera. Other than that, what could go wrong?_

* * *

"Oh, come on!" Lee hissed as the gym doors refused to open. "Can this get any worse?"

"Lee?" entered a raspy voice that instilled both ease and fear in his heart. Lee turned to see the purple-clad Loud girl.

"Oh, Luna! Hey," Lee answered awkwardly. "I thought you already left. What are you doing here?"

"I asked your mom if I could bum a ride once you and Luan were let out," Luna replied. "What are _you_ doing here? I thought you were dancing to the Jailhouse Rock."

"I can't explain it all right now," he responded hurriedly, "but just know something is in there that I need to get."

"And it's worth sneaking out of detention?" Luna inquired skeptically.

"If I can get it, then Luan and I can prove we didn't do the prank," Lee asserted.

Before their conversation could continue, they soon heard footsteps nearby, prompting Lee to leap behind a nearby row of lockers. The source was revealed to Lee's mother who had just spotted Luna.

"Luna?" Mrs. Ping asked. "Is there something wrong?"

"Uh, nothing, Mrs. P," Luna stammered. "I think I'll head to the car now." She walked up to Mrs. Ping so that she wouldn't have to come to her and spot Lee.

As Lee watched the two walking out of sight, his earpiece came to life with Biffy's voice. "Finished talking with your girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend," Lee countered, thankful that Biffy (or Luan for that matter) couldn't see his flushed face.

"Back to the matter at hand," Biffy redirected, "Try the entrance behind the stage, just around the corner."

The partial redhead quickly found the other entryway, only to find that it too wasn't opening. "Are you messing with me now?" Lee barked.

"Kick the lower-left corner, then bump your shoulder into it," Biffy instructed.

Lee did just that, and it worked. The partial redhead now found himself in the same room as those "psycho cleaner freaks" who were preoccupied with making the gym spotless; the gunk that coated the vast space was steadily decreasing thanks to their industrial-strength vacuums. Not wanting to be spotted, he got down and crawled through the filth.

 _This had better be worth it_ , Lee grumbled to himself.

* * *

Under the impression that things were running smoothly, Biffy decided to take a quick soda break while watching the operation in real-time on his laptop. The setup was surprisingly in-depth with the floor plans of the school, a digital layout for the time matched by the second, and the three color-coded GPS indicators (green for Lee; yellow for Luan; and red for Barrage).

 _So far, so good_ , he mused as he saw Luan's dot had just entered the basement. _Now we've just gotta wait for Lee, and –_

That thought couldn't be finished as Biffy did a spit-take. The reason? Barrage's tracker was headed right for Lee.

"Dude! Barrage is coming your way!" the big guy alerted. "He's practically right on top of you!"

* * *

"That's not good!" Lee panicked. "Where should I go?"

No response.

"Hello?"

Still no answer.

"Dammit! Did you want this to happen, you jerk?!" Seeing himself without options, Lee braced himself for the inevitable worst.

* * *

Biffy eyed the Barrage tracker like a hawk as it was nearing the gym, barely registering that Luan just returned. What he didn't expect was that it stopped short of the side entrance before moving on.

"Oh, false alarm," Biffy reported. "And hey, if you talk smack to me again, I really will feed you to Barrage. _Capisce_?

"Wonder what the General was doing over there?" Luan asked, causing Biffy to jolt up in surprise (definitely not fear). "Huh. So, this is what it's like for Lucy."

* * *

"Grafitti in my school?!" Barrage bellowed at two African-American teens caught in the act of spraypainting. "Not on your lives, boys!"

"Hey," the hefty one dressed in brown retorted. "You can't call us that."

"I said 'boys' in regards to your age and immaturity, _not_ your ethnicity, son," Barrage clarified. "But please, do test my patience; see where that gets you."

"We'll be on our way, sir," the small one in a purple hoody answered for both of them (due to his friend's fear-induced, paralyzed state) before walking away.

 _Speaking of delinquents_ , thought the cyborg principal, _maybe I should check on the inmates… Nah, what tomfoolery could they possibly get into down there?_

* * *

"Alright; sorry, buddy," Lee relented. _Can't afford losing allies at this point_.

It was at that moment that he could finally spot his prize: the missing camcorder.

 _Now, I just need to crawl over_ – That thought was cut short as a hazmat cleaner approached, forcing Lee to duck into the filth. _OK, I could've lived without doing that._

Upon lifting his head back up from the muck, Lee found himself temporarily blinded by the gunge covering his face, taking precious time wipe his face clean. That was to his undoing as he found once he finished.

"It's gone!" Lee freaked out loud.

"Seriously?!" Luan shouted in his ear. "You had one job, Lee!"

Desperate for an explanation, he looked around frantically, eventually spotting a shadowy figure running out the main entrance. "Who is that guy? No!"

The sound of robotic-style chatter made the detention escapee realize that he had done goofed as the hazmat cleaners were now fully aware of his presence.

 _I just had to use my outdoor voice_ , Lee self-berated as he made a run for it… only to slip and fall on the floor again. Fortunately, this proved to be a blessing in disguise as he found a digital camera next to him. "Whoa," he Keanu-ed.

"Did you get it?" Biffy asked as the partial redhead stopped to pick up his new find.

"No, it's the wrong one!" Lee responded while pocketing the camera. He then burst through the main entrance to give chase to the mystery person. "Hey, stop!" he shouted. This naturally did nothing, so Lee engaged in hot pursuit, shortly followed by the hazmat cleaners.

The hunt took Lee across the school and even past the skater clique. To get a speed advantage, Lee swiftly swiped one of the skaters' boards without them even realizing it. Though with a little hiccup, Lee got the hang of his new ride and seemed to catch up to his target as they entered the pool room.

When he opened the door, he couldn't see anyone among the empty pool and bleachers. "Just great," Lee moaned. "He's gone."

"There's nothing we can do about it now," Biffy advised. "Just get back here."

The sound of the hazmat cleaners approaching proved to be a great motivation for Lee to get out of dodge. In an act of pure desperation, Lee rode into the pool and used it as a make-shift half-pipe ramp to get to the other side of the room in record time. He didn't quite stick the landing as he briefly sprawled out near the exit. Seeing the cleaners on his tail, Lee quickly collected himself and rode on out of there.

Despite being an amateur, Lee maneuvered halls on the board well, even making a jump over a small staircase. If only that last stunt didn't cause him to drop the precious camera, prompting him to double back to catch it.

"All this for a simple camera," Lee murmured. "This is what my life has come to."

This bit of reflection would have to wait as the hazmat cleaners emerged in front of him.

"Take a left, now!" Biffy ordered in Lee's earpiece. Clearly, Lee took the next left; but the momentum caused him to lose balance and launch forward onto the floor. With the cleaners fast approaching, Lee had no choice but to ditch his ride and outrun them on foot.

* * *

Back with Biffy and Luan, their eyes were glued to the laptop screen, seeing that there were less than two minutes left and they were in full panic mode as Lee's marker just stopped moving.

"Lee?" Luan called out. "Barrage is practically on top of you!"

"Hey," Biffy interjected. "Leave the backseat operations to me."

* * *

"Uh, Lee? Are you there?" came Biffy's voice through Lee's earpiece. Not that he was in the best position to talk as he was currently laying down on a row of lockers, just out of view from Barrage and a platoon of hazmat cleaners passing by. From his vantage point, he could see the principal/general splitting up the group to patrol the halls from each side (one group passing Lee's position) before making his way to the stairwell, no doubt to the detention room.

"I'm dead," Lee groaned. "There's no way I can beat Barrage there."

"There is one option left," Biffy instructed. "Look up."

Lee did so and saw a vent grate. "You're not messing with me, right? A vent?"

"Pretend that you're Lucy and just get up in there," Luan's voice piped up.

With things out of his hand, Lee climbed into the crawlspace, hoping that the hissing sound he heard was all in his head.

"Is that another one of your sisters?" Biffy asked. "Just how many of you are there?"

"A little focus here?" Lee interrupted while traversing the vents, his phone acting as a guiding light. "I'm literally in the dark here."

* * *

"Oh, yeah. Take the next left and you'll be right on top of us in a few more yards of vents," Biffy directed.

"Get a move on, cardinal-head!" Luan demanded. "Barrage is getting closer by the second."

The remaining detetionaires could hear the rhythmic thuds of Barrage's mechanical footsteps nearing the door until they finally stopped.

With Lee nowhere in sight, Biffy and Luan rushed to the door, the former grabbing the doorknob to keep Barrage from opening it.

"Open this door, stat!" came the militaristic demand from the other side.

"Wow, this door is being bad," Biffy feigned beratement at the inanimate object.

"I'd say we'd be in a pickle, but this door would have to be 'a jar'!" Luan quipped.

 _Hurry up_ , they collectively thought with their eyes pointing up at the room's vent.

* * *

At last, Lee reached the detention room's grate, but he only exchanged one issue with another: getting the grate open. Try as he might, he was making little headway as though the grate was welded shut.

"Stand back, soldiers!" he could hear Barrage's voice. "I'm taking her down." There was a sudden shudder that even Lee felt. _I sure hope those two can hold him off_.

A little struggling paid off as Lee managed to wrench the grate free. Unfortunately for him, he was too slow to fend off a surprise foe: the dragon-like Tatzelwurm.

 _Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!_ These words were racing through Lee's mind as the dreaded beast scurried right at his face, ready to bite it off.

 _Not like this!_ Lee desperately reached for his lit phone and shone it in the Tatzelwurm's face. This was enough to scare the monster away.

" _Phew!_ That worked!" Lee sighed in relief… before realizing that he was now on top of the loosened vent.

"Oh dear," was all that left his mouth before he fell. Fortunately, he grabbed the edge of the vent opening to slow his plummet; the same couldn't be said for the camera as it shattered on impact.

The shock caused Lee to lose his grip, and down he went… right into the waiting arms of Biffy.

"If only I could risk taking a picture right now," Luan giggled at the sight.

Ignoring the teasing, Biffy swiftly kicked the camera's remains under the teacher's desk and deposited Lee into one of the seats before joining him and the Loud comedienne. Just in time for Barrage to bust the door open (which was previously barricaded by the sleeping teacher, chair and all).

With his one visible eye, the cybernetic principal surveyed the room to see if all was in order before he bellowed a loud "Diiii… smissed!".

"Mr. Ping. Ms. Loud," Barraged addressed. "We'll see you tomorrow." With a dry laugh at their expense, he marched out, leaving the trio to sort themselves out.

Lee rushed to the pieces of the camera and dug out the key component: its SD card. "Imagine what could be on this thing."

"It better be something that can get us out of this jam," Luan hoped. "Though I doubt it's grape flavored."

"Well, it could be that," Biffy thought aloud. "Or it could be pics from a chick slumber party. Either way, we win."

"Trust me; TV and movies really exaggerate what goes on in those parties," Luan shot down.

" _Eh._ You two could fill me in tomorrow," he told him before heading back to his bookbag.

"Hold up," Lee breathed. "You're going to be here?"

"Of course," Biffy answered while taking out something from his bag. "Gotta finish my sweater." Said beginnings of the sweater was in full display for the two to see.

* * *

The technicolor teens from the future found their little discussion about the detention-escapade interrupted by the presence of another. The figure was a blonde woman in her mid-twenties, dressed in a black dress-pants suit, a lavender shirt, and mirrored sunglasses for flare while carrying a briefcase.

"I see you've been entertained by our case-file," she observed. "I just hope you haven't tampered with it."

"Of course not, Ma'am!" the five sounded off all at once.

"It's alright, guys," the lady laughed playfully. "The higher-ups already have what they wanted on video, so looking at the extra stuff shouldn't matter."

"Guess we should start packing up to go back to the future, Agent Chrono-Flower?" Taylor asked, feeling a little disappointed that they had to leave for home.

"About that," the now identified special agent countered, opening her briefcase and taking out five manila folders. "Each of you, take the file that matches your first name."

Rightly confused, the five teens walked up and grabbed their respective folders. Sure enough, their forenames were there, but their surnames were replaced with different ones.

"What is all this?" Joel asked.

"These are your new identities," Chrono-Flower answered. "You're going to need them now that we're reassigned to be here for a while longer."

"Is this for real?!" Luke wondered, his eyes twinkling in excitement.

"Yep," Chrono-Flower confirmed. "Our stay in this time period has been extended due to the nature of the whole operation."

"Dang it!" Nate blurted out.

"What's with him?" the agent asked.

"He's just upset that he lost a bet," Lian replied smugly. "But, please, go on."

"We need more eyes on the goings-on in A. Nigma High at a personal level," Chrono-Flower continued. "That means you five are going to school."

The teens looked at their superior in shock and dread.

"You know, going back to our time doesn't sound so bad," Luke jested.

"You joke, but this is crucial to our updated operation," Agent Chrono-Flower explained. "There are going to be some shady deeds being done at that school, and we'll need that evidence. That and your parents would have my neck if you weren't getting a proper education."

"So, when do we start?" Nate questioned, having recovered from his outburst.

"Sometime next week," she answered. "But before that, we need to establish some ground rules." The agent then took out a thick pamphlet from her briefcase, eliciting groans from her young charges.

* * *

The ride home for the pairs of Pings and Louds was silent. When her eyes weren't on the road, Mrs. Ping would steal disappointed glances at her son in the seat next to her. _Where did I go wrong with him?_ she wondered.

Unknown to his mother, Lee was in the middle of texting session with the two girls in the back seat:

 **Lee** : … So, that's what happened.  
 **Luna** : You really think whatever's on the camera's memory card will help clear your names?  
 **Luan** : Hopefully, it will be a "picture perfect" alibi. XD Get it?  
 **Lee** : (~_~) Anyway, I'm kind of surprised you didn't go home earlier, Luna.  
 **Luna** : I just figured you'd want some good company on the trip home.  
 **Luan** : Was that for both of us or just one in particular? ;^)  
 **Luna** : I don't know what you're talking about. Can't a girl be there for her sister/roommate and best bro/bandmate? Speaking of the last one, do you think this will be cleared before the Battle of the Bands?  
 **Lee** : Hopefully, we can. I'd just like to ask if you could keep this from the rest of your clan.  
 **Luna** : Are you sure?  
 **Luan** : How do think they'd take family members breaking rules to prove they didn't break rules?  
 **Luna** : Good point.  
 **Lee** : I'll check the card for anything after homework.

The SUV came to a full stop in the Pings' parking lot, tearing the teens from their phones.

"Time to get out, you three," Mrs. Ping informed while stepping out the vehicle.

"See you girls tomorrow," Lee sighed as they all got out to go their separate ways. _By tonight_ , he thought, _I'm going to get some answers_.

* * *

This chapter was a struggle, but it came to be with a lot of help from mon-ra.

Sorry to be a buzzkill, but I need to take a break from writing for a while to focus on my last semester to get my Associate's. Pray for me, wish me luck, or whatever.


	8. Chapter 5: A Special Sibling Meeting

**Chapter 5: A Special Sibling Meeting**

From the moment she and Luna exited the Pings' SUV, Luan could feel the icy glare of disapproval emanating from Mrs. Ping. Thanks to the prank, her standing with the mother plummeted to an all-time low. That got Luan to contemplate just how would her own family take the news. She'd probably get off better than Lee's punishment, but she'd still be treated as a pariah in her own home. Her musing was interrupted by a hand on her right shoulder, causing her to realize that she and Luna were standing before the front door.

"Are you holding up ok?" Luna asked her clearly troubled sister.

"I don't think I can face them," Luan groaned.

"You hafta face the music at some point, sis," Luna stated. "Just know that I'm here for you."

Luan gave a somber smile and started to turn the doorknob. She and Luna were quickly overwhelmed by their younger siblings' assault of questions as soon as the door gave way.

"This has to be just a joke, right?" Lincoln asked in denial. "Please tell me you and Lee didn't actually do all the stuff Lori said."

"Please, we all knew you were gonna crack," Lynn retorted. "But did you have to go overkill like that?"

"Do you think I get some of that gnarly gunk from your clothes, Luna?" Lana begged. "Lori and Leni took their clothes straight to the washer before I could get any."

"If it were up to me, I would've had you expelled," Lola berated. "You and Lee got off too easy."

"Well, that's one way to be greeted back home," Luna muttered under the noise.

"Look, I can explain everything," Luan stammered.

"There's no need," came the unified voices of the Loud parents, quieting the small crowd. The pre-teens stepped aside to let Mr. and Mrs. Loud (the latter holding Lily) come into view for the pair of returning teens.

Luan and Luna slowly walked indoors; Luna intended to join her sisters upstairs but was stopped by Mr. Loud's sudden grip on her shoulder.

"Mrs. Ping told us everything," Mr. Loud surmised with a stern look. "I can usually tolerate your practical jokes, but what happened today was inexcusable."

"Poo-poo!" Lily added her own words of displeasure pointing at her prankster sister.

"I know, Dad," Luan didn't even bother to object.

"Lucky for you, Luan, you're not getting the same type of punishment that Lee has," Mrs. Loud declared, her face full of disappointment. "You will, however, have your TV privileges reduced to only for family viewing (so no watching your own shows); all pranks regardless of magnitude are forbidden, and all outings will require you to be accompanied by a family member. All of this for an entire year. Are we clear?"

"Understood, Mom," Luan affirmed ashamedly.

"Seeing that you are roommates," Mr. Loud now addressed Luna, "we're going to need you to be her default chaperone and hold her accountable outside of school."

"OK, Pops," Luna sighed. "It's not like I have plans anymore."

"Alright, gang," Mr. Loud announced to all of the family before walking back into the kitchen, "Dinner will be ready in an hour."

On that note, the Loud children dispersed to the second level of the Loud house. Luan made her way to the room shared by the two eldest sisters and knocked fervently on the door.

It didn't take long for Lori to open the door with annoyance. "Welcome back," she droned. "I take it that Mom and Dad already talked with you?"

"Yes, they did," Luan grumbled. "Which is partially why I'd like to call for a sibling meeting."

"Why exactly?" Lori asked with some awakened curiosity.

"I just want to give my side of the story; that way our younger sibs don't see me as some sort of unhinged monster," the jokester Loud confessed.

Lori internally cringed as she was partially to blame for this prevailing view from Lynn and down. "OK, we'll do it after everyone has finished their homework. And I'm sorry if I contributed to their current attitude towards you."

"Thank you, Lori," Luan breathed gratefully before heading to her room. "See you at dinner."

* * *

Lee was glad that dinner was over. Since his father was busy with work, it was just him and his mom; the awkwardness he felt from his mom's occasional glares was incomparable. In her eyes, Lee turned from a decent student to a vandalizing delinquent. If anything, he should be grateful that he can still have her home cooking.

Now, Lee had all the time to focus on his investigation. What he didn't account for was how long it took for his computer to read the card from the destroyed camera (he had since changed into his sleepwear after the first hour). In the meantime, he resorted to a little redecorating by adorning his bulletin board with the blueprints of the gym. While this so-called "evidence" is in his possession, Lee figured that he might as well put it to good use.

 _If I'm ever going to get my life back_ , the partial redhead thought, _I need to find the real culprit so I can prove Luan's and my innocence to our parents and that half-cyborg principal. If only this camera card would just get load._

As if on cue, the card reader gave a positive chime to indicate that the pictures were ready to view.

"Finally," Lee sighed as he got to his computer. "Let's see what we've got." He scrolled through the snapshots that were taken of the prank. They seemed to be mixed between poorly captured background pics and graphic depictions of the more eye-catching/disgusting events. The Tatzelwurm sighting caught his interest, but a picture of the jocks' projectile vomiting was something that Lee could've lived without seeing.

Lee's photo-viewing was interrupted by a FaceTome messenger window popped up to reveal the face of Camillio, his best friend that didn't live next door. "How you holdin' up, holmes?" the wannabe gangster asked.

"Oh, you know; the fact that being grounded and having detention sucks just as bad as it sounds," Lee admitted.

"I just don't know what I'm gonna do now that you're in lockup, man," Cam complain. "Who am I going to hang with now?"

"Oh, I'm sure Luna will still be available," Lee half-joked.

"You know what I mean, bro," Cam chided. "Who's gonna be, like, my wingman?"

Another window popped up, showing their mutual Scandinavian friend. "Oh, Holger be volunteering to be Cam's man-of-wings!"

"I'll leave you guys to it. Later, guys," Lee concluded while exiting the program. _Now, back to business_ , he thought as he continued to go through the digital gallery.

He finally hit pay-dirt as one image caught his eye: a photo of a light-skinned hand reaching into his open bag.

"I knew it! Someone _did_ mess with my bag!" Lee proclaimed to himself.

"Lights out!" came the voice of Mrs. Ping which prompted Lee to turn off his computer's monitor while she shut off the light switch & shut the door. Of course, he turned it back on when he was the coast was clear.

"One way or another, I'm going to find out who did this and nail them," Lee self-declared with the most intensity he's ever put into something. "But first things first; I've gotta show this to Luan." And with that, he began writing up a quick email.

* * *

Whenever the state of the Loud house is thrown into question, the ten daughters and sole son would hold a conference within the shared room of the two eldest to discuss among themselves on how to resolve the problems. The matters discussed ranged from minor issues such as Lana's gross habits encroaching on everyone's well-being to heavier ones such as drawing lots on who can be exempt from the April 1st shenanigans. Tonight's sibling meeting would put the comical sister in the center of discussion.

"… And that's why Lee and I shouldn't have but did get a whole year of detention," Luan finished retelling her side of the events.

The visages of her siblings were displaying varied expressions of shock and curiosity. Half a minute passed until one of them decided to speak.

"I knew you two were innocent," Lincoln responded with relief.

"We're really sorry for not hearing you out first," Lola repented.

"Poo-poo," Lily concurred solemnly.

"That said, I can't believe that someone hated your jokes so much that they'd punish you for it," Lynn ribbed.

"I'm still jealous that the three of you got to get covered in goo instead of me," Lana addressed the other high schoolers.

"Of course, that's your takeaway," Lola remarked snidely.

"Anyone else?" Lori wryly probed her remaining siblings from her dresser/make-shift podium.

"Did you happen to get the specifications on the principal's cybernetic prosthetics?" the brainy Loud asked.

"The general's robot parts are beside the point, Lisa," Lori sighed. "While Luan is going to serve time, the rest of us will have to deal with all of our classmates seeing us in new lights with us being associated with the alleged pranksters."

"In what ways?" Lucy queried.

"Strangely enough, most of the school seemed to like us for the prank," Luan explained. "Of course, there were some people were seeing red when they saw us, and I'm pretty sure they weren't just staring at Lee's bangs."

"We'll have to wait until tomorrow for everyone's initial reactions to settle down to get a full assessment," Lori concluded. "I just want you all to be prepared to face any recognition or backlash."

"Isn't there some way for Luan and Lee to prove they're innocent?" Lincoln asked.

"I don't think there is," Leni spoke up. "Not unless they were to sneak out of detention and grab the camera with the recorded prank from the gym."

Luan and Luna's eyes shifted towards each other with worriedness evident on their faces, something that was noticed by Lucy and Lisa.

"Don't be ridiculous, Leni," Lori scoffed. "That would just wind up getting them into even more trouble."

Right as that was said, Luan's phone went off with a sudden notification, prompting her to check the new email. The face of the girl in question flashed momentarily with shock, excitement, and realization; that last one was more in response to her siblings witnessing her initial reactions. _Of course, Lee would update me now of all times._

"Show it," Lori demanded.

Luan hesitated but handed the device to Lori, not wanting to face the consequences if she refused. Upon looking at the message, Lori's face changed from curious to appalled. The email and its attached picture just boggled her mind:

 **From:** RedRebelLee Anigmahigh  
 **To** : LaughOutLoud Anigmahigh  
 **Subject** : (Nothing)

 _I've attached what I found on the camera. Turns out someone did mess with my bag._

"You mean you two actually snuck out of detention?!" Lori asked incredulously.

"It was just trying to find proof of our innocence; I swear!" Luan defended.

"Dude, that's hardcore!" Lynn praised. "I never knew you had it in you."

"So, you _did_ go through the gunk from the prank," Lana realized.

"Actually, that was just Lee," Luna explained before she realized that she outed herself.

"You _knew_ about this?!" Lori shouted.

"I just stumbled across him in the hall, and they explained everything on our ride home," the musical Loud contended.

"Which one of you thought it was a good idea to even do something so stupid?" Lola berated.

"It was a detention regular named Biffy," Luan admitted.

"Biffy? You mean the guy large enough to be mistaken at an adult?" Leni asked, seeming confused.

"And you thought trusting someone with that history was a good idea?" Lori interrogated with a slightly calmer demeanor.

"From what the two told me, it seemed like he set up a solid plan for them," Luna brought up.

"Girls, I think we're overlooking one key detail," Lincoln interrupted. "Lee found something that proves they didn't do the prank."

"Oh, right," Lori blushed, mentally kicking herself for not realizing that precious evidence was in her grasp thanks to the detention-escapade.

"I concur," Lisa acknowledged. "Dubious morality of their actions aside, our comical sibling unit and teenage neighbor have certainly procured an important attestation to rectifying their besmirched public images. This, however, leads to the next query: what is the identity of the culprit? Without an air-tight resolution to that, Luan and Lee will be stuck with their detention sentence."

"Just look at the picture Lee sent," Lori stated as she showed the phone with the image to Lisa. "It's just a hand reaching into the bag; it could take forever find out whose hand it is."

"Interesting," Lisa mused as she forwarded the email to herself.

"Well, we could rule out all the left-hand amputees at the school," Luan snarked.

"Really? I didn't know they came to our school," Leni thought out loud.

"No, Leni," Lucy corrected. "Luan was just being sarcastic."

"OK, this is getting out of hand," Lori asserted. "Luan, if you and Lee plan on doing something like this again, you should keep the rest of us in the loop. Also, I need to stress this: until we get definite proof, Mom and Dad can never know about this. I'm looking at you, Lola."

"FYI, I wouldn't stoop so low as to tattle on them," the young pageant queen rebuked, feeling offended by Lori's insinuation. "Besides, they've been through enough."

"And on that note, I declare this sibling meeting adjourned," the eldest Loud child declared, banging one of her high heels on her dresser like a gavel.

* * *

It was midnight when Lucy arose from her bed, careful to not wake her jock of a sister. Granted, that wasn't necessary due to Lynn's snoring, but the gothic girl wasn't taking any chances. She swiftly exited the room and rapped on the door across from her own.

The door was opened by Lisa, who made the briefest of acknowledgments and allowed Lucy inside. The two sisters made their way to Lisa's desk. With a click of the brainy Loud's remote, the desk was transformed into her secret, high-end computer. The screen revealed several diagrams surrounding a picture of a certain redhead teenager.

"Well, now we know that Lee's catalyst has come to pass," Lucy assessed.

"Indeed," Lisa added. "What I didn't account for was Luan's direct involvement. This throws my calculations out of sync."

"On the bright side, we're in a reality where Lee attempts to prove his innocence," Lucy surmised with rare optimism. "It's just now he's got more support and from us no less."

"That is accurate," Lisa supposed, "but the pair of us have to keep our input in their investigation to the minimum. It is imperative that the conclusion is reached organically."

"Let me guess: for the sake of your backers?" Lucy asked rhetorically.

"Precisely. They've become quite intrigued with the affairs occurring at Alexander Nigma High School as of late; more than I could legally divulge with even you," Lisa admitted.

"That's fair; the spirits have been keeping me in sworn secrecy on such matters until the time is right," Lucy remarked.

"Of course, elder sibling unit," Lisa obliged, fighting off the urge to rant about the supernatural. "Even if there's a limit on content, I appreciate the fact that we could have these discussions at all."

"Same here," Lucy smiled as she exited the bedroom.

 _Even if I could tell you what my backers are up to, you wouldn't believe me,_ Lisa thought while typing away on her computer. With the image of the hand rifling through Lee's backpack on the screen, Lisa had a small smirk on her face. _Suffice to say, reversing the detention sentence is just_ one _of the heavy tasks ahead for us._

* * *

Nathaniel a.k.a. Nate was having a tough time getting to sleep. Here he was: twenty-five years into the past, seeing sights that he could only dream of and would make his peers back home jealous. And he hated it. Apart from that block-party from a week ago, he was bored out of his mind. He couldn't share in the spectacle his siblings seemed to have for this time period. This was probably why he was so confident that their mission was going to be brief, only for their superior to inform them that their stay would be even longer with going to school put in the mix. Nate could already feel the amount of compartmentalizing his intellect to fit this time's education standards to not arouse suspicion when they're at school.

 _Well, at least my sibs will have an easier time_ , he thought with a snicker. _Especially Joel_.

Nate mentally smacked himself. He shouldn't be thinking about them like that; his brothers & sisters were much brighter than he'd admit. But it didn't help that they were skirting on the edge of blowing their cover, and Luke was considering doing that deliberately.

 _Maybe looking at it would put me at ease_ , Nate thought as he activated his futuristic wristband. The device opened a holographic interface, which he began to peruse until he reached his desired destination. He was now face to face with a photo of his immediate family, most notably his younger siblings (with just as bizarre hairdos) that couldn't join his crew of five, their partial redhead father who seemed rather haggard, and his several mothers ( _Well, Mama-N is my biological mother and the one I'm closest to, but you get the idea_ ). As he recalled, his folks decided to take the photo before the _First Five_ (as they've been jokingly called by the younger kids) had to leave.

Nate smiled sleepily at the sight; the picture serving as a calming agent for his agitated mind. _I hope our work here would keep all that a reality_ , he thought as he finally drifted off to dreamland.

* * *

 **AN:**

I wanted to get something out before the year's end. Also, I've been considering changing the title. Check the poll on my profile to make this decision for me.


End file.
